treppenwitz

Warning: T.M.I.

I'm always on the look-out for new and interesting stuff to snack on that doesn't have a lot of carbs.  The other day I was at the store and happened to notice a little round tin of candies in the impulse rack next to the cash register.  I wish I hadn't.

Be Right Back.

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Sorry about that... anyway as I was saying, this candy came in a colorful circular tin and went by the catchy name:

Klipp Klapp ... der magische Verschluss (the magic lock)

          ACE-FIT DROPS

Bonbons Aux Vitamines A C E

How could I resist?  Three languages... three vitamins and a magic lock (whatever that is) to boot!  The clincher was looking at the side of the tin and seeing that it contained no sugar whatsoever and was, instead, sweetened with something called 'Isomalt'.

Now, I don't know much about sweeteners, but, um... Be Right Back!

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Like I was saying, I don't know much about sweeteners, but if there's no sugar in there it's gotta be OK, right.  RIGHT?!!

Um, now that I'm lying here next to my desk in the fetal position I'm guessing I should have maybe, kinda, sorta taken a moment to look up 'Isomalt' before popping these things like, well, candy. 

Here's the belated wisdom, courtesy of Wikipedia:

"[Isomalt] has only a small impact on blood sugar levels, does not promote tooth decay, and has one half the calories of sugar. However, like most sugar alcohols, it carries a very real risk of gastric distress, including flatulence and diarrhea, when consumed in large quantities." [emphasis mine]

I don't know what constitutes 'large quantities' over at Wikipedia, but I had like 8 or 10 of these little orange sucking candies over the course of the morning and the results have been, well, dramatic.  The only thing that might have enhanced the overall affect would have been the presence of a heavy sedative in the ingredients so that I could pass out and lose all control of my bodily functions!

BRB

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Oh G-d make it stop!

I think know the pretty electrical engineer whose desk is next to the bathroom is never going to be able to look at me the same way again.  The first couple of times I forced myself to believe that nobody could hear the motorboat sounds what was going on in there... but walking out this time, I could see written on her face a silent plea not to make eye contact.  Ever.  Again.

What the hell is this Isomalt, and why haven't I ever heard of it???  Is this like the Olestra of the Atkins crowd?  At least with Olestra there was that helpful warning on the label (again, thanks to Wikipedia):

"This Product Contains Olestra. Olestra may cause abdominal cramping and loose stools. Olestra inhibits the absorption of some vitamins and other nutrients. Vitamins A, D, E, and K have been added."

As a follow up, the Wiki people helpfully point out "This condition became popularly known as "anal leakage", though those words never actually appeared on the label."   

Shyeah, I think the words 'loose stools' appearing on food packaging is pretty much all a consumer would need to read... er, BRB

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Look, a word to the wise.  Stay away from 'Klipp Klapp ACE-FIT' (more like A$$-FIT) candies... and for G-d sakes, stay the hell away from anything containing Isomalt.  Unless, of course, you enjoy feeling like that guy in the movie 'Alien' just before the space monster came poking out of his stomach!

Uh, I gotta run...

Photo Friday (vol. LXXXVI) [Snowstorm edition]

I feel guilty that I haven't been able to pull together a Photo Friday in several weeks.  It's not that I haven't had pictures... it's just that I haven't had time to post them.

A couple of weeks ago we had a nice snowstorm here and I have been sitting on the pictures ever since.  So without further ado:

Here is a shot of the valley behind our house and a neighboring community community here in Gush Etzion (Neve Daniel):

Here is another view of the gush in the snow:

Our poor Lemon tree was buried... but seems to have survived the storm:

Of course, as soon as the snow began to fall heavily the roads were blocked with Israeli drivers who had no idea what to make of the white slippery stuff.  But that didn't stop some of us from putting on the X-Country skis and enjoying the lack of traffic!

Shabbat Shalom!

My bilingual boy

Our three year old Yonah was what you might call a 'late bloomer' when it came to talking.  There are lots of things behind this whole late blooming thing... but he seems to be making up for lost time now.

Having been born to American parents in Israel, Yonah has had the added challenge of learning to communicate in two languages... not to mention figuring out when and where each language is appropriate.

A heartwarming story from the supermarket that was related to me by my lovely wife:

Zahava and a friend were conversing when they noticed Yonah trying to force his way past another shopper.  After a few tentative shoves against the offending leg blocking his progress, he finally looked up at the obstacle shopper and yelled "ZOOZ!!!" (literally 'MOVE' in Hebrew).

Without missing a beat, the woman with whom my wife had been talking said, "Oh how cute... he's already learned to say 'excuse me' in Hebrew.

Our little Israeli is growing up so fast.  We're so proud.

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OK folks, the polls close today so this is your last chance to cast your vote for treppenwitz in the finals of the Weblog Awards.  You guys have been great so far... but this is for all the marbles.  Go Vote!

Note to Doctor Bean:  We're having brunch with my folks so Photo Friday may be up a bit late (if at all).