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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Being someone's knight in shining armor

I had a meeting in Tel Aviv not too long ago, and to get there, I had to take my scooter onto a fast moving highway called the 'Ayalon'.

At one point I found myself following a nicely dressed young woman riding a little retro looking scooter.

What struck me as odd was that she was holding onto the right grip with her right hand, with her left hand out of sight in front of he body... and she was following a somewhat erratic line.

At first I thought she might be texting on her cell phone, but when I swung into the parallel lane to pass her, a quick glance told the whole sorry tale.

She was dressed in heels, a pencil skirt and lightweight blouse... which she was unsuccessfully trying to keep from blowing completely open to expose a frilly little push-up bra.

The shoulder of the highway was littered with piles of construction debris, so she didn't really have the option of pulling over to safely re-button her blouse.

My exit was coming up so I passed her, moved over to the right lane and rode my scooter up the ramp to the red light at the end.

Within a few seconds, the girl with the wardrobe malfunction pulled up next to me and started fussing with her blouse buttons. I'm a bit ashamed to admit how closely I must have been looking to have noticed, but the top two or three buttons of her blouse were gone; having probably popped off when the first gust of highway wind filled up the fabric.

After a beat, I popped open my glove box because I was pretty sure I had one or two of those freebie hotel sewing kits tossed in there for an emergency. Sure enough, it was there among the pens, fuses, pocket knife, electrical tape and handy wipes.

I opened the little cardboard sleeve of the sewing kit, fished out the two little safety pins that were there, and handed them over to the girl whose cheeks inside her three-quarter helmet were as red as my Vespa.

Almost immediately after she'd taken the safety pins from my hand, the light changed and I started to pull out.

The shouted words that followed me into the intersection (and throughout the rest of my workday) were אתה אביר שלי (you're my knight!).

Such opportunities to help a damsel in distress are so few and far between, that the afterglow of a successful 'rescue' is enough to put a spring in my step for days, or even weeks afterwards. I figured I'd share the story with you in case you needed a reason to carry around a little sewing kit with you on your daily quests.


Posted by David Bogner on July 25, 2012 | Permalink


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At the End of Days, one of the questions I will have for the Abishter is exactly who was Bogner's scriptwriter, and why he was so blessed to have such great scripts written for him. Probably so the rest of us would have something entertaining to read over our tuna sandwiches. Neep!

Posted by: rutimizrachi | Jul 25, 2012 12:59:12 PM

rutimizrachi... It all comes down to having good material. And, of course, the ability to notice all the things that are going on around each and every one of us.

Posted by: treppenwitz | Jul 25, 2012 1:04:26 PM

You're sure about the details here, correct? The bra was frilly, little, and push up? You didn't notice the color?


Posted by: Andy Levy-Stevenson | Jul 25, 2012 1:35:33 PM

Andy Levy-Stevenson... That was my impression. I have a photographic memory... just no film. :-)

Posted by: treppenwitz | Jul 25, 2012 1:39:34 PM

I remember teaching a motorcycle course a long time back. The policy was we only stop for lightning, nothing else. There wasn't any rain in the forecast that I can remember, but at one point, while the students were out riding, there was a quick shower that passed by and drenched everyone. One unfortunate woman was wearing a white shirt. After the rain storm, she might as well have been wearing a sheer nightie. Fortunately I had a sweatshirt handy to loan her.

Posted by: Nighthawk700 | Jul 25, 2012 4:32:45 PM

You're such a Boy Scout... although I was not aware that they gave out merit badges in Décolletage Observation and Rescuing Damsels in Distress.

Now when I read your posts, I have a better sense of the geography. We actually know where the Ayalon highway is!

Posted by: Elisson | Jul 25, 2012 5:27:41 PM

I came home from the last trip to Israel with 3 or 4 sewing kits courtesy of EL AL. Your post just taught me how to make good use of them by placing a kit in each of the cars because hey, you never know how strong the wind can get around here :)

Posted by: David S | Jul 25, 2012 6:18:00 PM

Only El Al would give out sewing kits. Did they include traditional Jewish mother to use them?

Posted by: chairwoman | Jul 25, 2012 6:42:53 PM

Wasn't this the start of a Penthouse Forum letter?

Posted by: Jordan Hirsch | Jul 25, 2012 10:13:38 PM

Thanks for directing my attention to this charming little story! I love it. It is hard being a lady, with all of our fashion choices, on a scooter! Cheers yoush!

Posted by: kaie w. bird | Jul 26, 2012 2:24:21 AM

I heard she's looking to return the safety pins.

Posted by: zalman | Jul 26, 2012 2:27:13 AM

What a hero!

Posted by: SaraK | Jul 26, 2012 3:53:25 PM

Just the other day I removed the sewing kit that had been living under my motorcycle seat. I was sure I'll never need it. Tzahal issue, 1980, and even still has the original safety pins. I am going to restore it to its place on the motorbike. Who knew?

Posted by: Mordechai Y. Scher | Jul 26, 2012 4:46:19 PM

You are a sweetheart.

Posted by: Dina | Sep 23, 2012 6:15:44 AM

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