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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

18 Candles [A guest post by Zahava]

...of remembrance.

Ima, today is your 18th yahrzeit.  I miss you terribly. 18 years is a long time.

I sat early this morning, as I do every year on the 19th of Adar, and look through volumes of photo albums. I remember all the good memories we shared together, and also those memories which have been generated since you have gone.

Nearly every day something occurs to me which I wish I could share with you. It might be something funny, it might be something sad, it might be something ordinary.... Living with 2 teenagers, nearly every day makes me wish that I could seek your sage advice (I can hear you, in my mind, laughing your tush off at this thought!) ....

When I was a small child, you took care of me, and our relationship primarily consisted of "the teacher and the taught." When I was a teenager, our relationship was probably better defined as "tug-of-war." When I went away for college, our relationship changed -- the physical distance was both difficult and good for both of us. We learned to see each other external to our relationship as parent-child, and we grew closer for the experience.

Though it was incredibly brief, I am so grateful for the time I had getting to know you as a young adult -- a fledgling professional, a young wife, and for the briefest of moments, as a new mother myself....

I am grateful that in the weeks before you left us that you took the time to express your love, your pride, and your hopes to me, Larry, Abba, and Grandma. The strength of that love has helped me overcome difficulties over the years. It has also helped me enjoy and savor the celebrations.

I hope that I was successful, too, in those last few weeks, of expressing my love, my pride, and my gratitude. No matter where I go, no matter what I do, I am forever your child. I forever miss you. I forever love you.

18th Yahrzeit
[click to embiggen]

Posted by David Bogner on March 13, 2012 | Permalink


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Loving, thoughtful, and memorable post.

Posted by: Ellis | Mar 13, 2012 12:35:49 PM

No words. Just empathy tears. You're a good daughter.

Posted by: rutimizrachi | Mar 13, 2012 1:50:23 PM

Thanks for your beautiful words - having just lost my mother it was especially meaningful

Posted by: britac | Mar 13, 2012 3:06:11 PM

beautifully written

Posted by: roberti | Mar 13, 2012 3:07:07 PM

Zahava, so sorry that you are a member of the club... we who have lost our mothers. May your warm memories of your Ima be a source of comfort and joy.

Posted by: Elisson | Mar 13, 2012 3:29:11 PM

Thanks to everyone who commented! Your thoughts have been a huge comfort!

Posted by: zahava | Mar 13, 2012 5:59:19 PM

Oh Zehava. That was so simply and elegantly stated. I'm sure you're mom is proud of the mother you have become.

Posted by: Baila | Mar 13, 2012 6:40:14 PM

What a beautiful and poignant post.
.יהי זכרה ברוך

Posted by: Mrs. S. | Mar 13, 2012 11:45:46 PM

Her memory is clearly a blessing. Beautiful post.

Posted by: Leah Weiss Caruso | Mar 14, 2012 2:31:51 AM

I lost my mother to cancer twenty-four years ago next month. As I grow older, I often wonder what things would be like if she were still around. I miss her.

Posted by: Karl Newman | Mar 14, 2012 5:04:54 PM

i know these feelings.

Posted by: weese | Mar 15, 2012 5:37:05 PM

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