18 Candles [A guest post by Zahava]

...of remembrance.

Ima, today is your 18th yahrzeit.  I miss you terribly. 18 years is a long time.

I sat early this morning, as I do every year on the 19th of Adar, and look through volumes of photo albums. I remember all the good memories we shared together, and also those memories which have been generated since you have gone.

Nearly every day something occurs to me which I wish I could share with you. It might be something funny, it might be something sad, it might be something ordinary.... Living with 2 teenagers, nearly every day makes me wish that I could seek your sage advice (I can hear you, in my mind, laughing your tush off at this thought!) ....

When I was a small child, you took care of me, and our relationship primarily consisted of "the teacher and the taught." When I was a teenager, our relationship was probably better defined as "tug-of-war." When I went away for college, our relationship changed -- the physical distance was both difficult and good for both of us. We learned to see each other external to our relationship as parent-child, and we grew closer for the experience.

Though it was incredibly brief, I am so grateful for the time I had getting to know you as a young adult -- a fledgling professional, a young wife, and for the briefest of moments, as a new mother myself....

I am grateful that in the weeks before you left us that you took the time to express your love, your pride, and your hopes to me, Larry, Abba, and Grandma. The strength of that love has helped me overcome difficulties over the years. It has also helped me enjoy and savor the celebrations.

I hope that I was successful, too, in those last few weeks, of expressing my love, my pride, and my gratitude. No matter where I go, no matter what I do, I am forever your child. I forever miss you. I forever love you.

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