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Thursday, November 11, 2010

Seriously thinking about this. Sort of.

I don't normally dwell on fantasies of revenge, but three times in the past week I've been the victim of such impossibly bad driver's stupidity, that I can't help feeling that there must be some way to get even... or at least mark them so they'd be easier for everyone else to spot.

Having been nearly run off the road twice on my scooter, and having had someone make a shameless left turn from the right line right in front of my car (if I hadn't slammed on the brakes I would have t-boned them), I am at my wits end!

Whenever someone does something truly brainless on the road, I usually think of the old saying "Stupid Should Hurt". But sadly, it doesn't... so stupid people go on flying in the face of the most basic rules of traffic... not to mention etiquette.

I'm seriously thinking of getting myself a little self-inking stamp made up with the following image:


That way, whenever some idiot driver puts my life in danger and then waves me off when I try to call them on it... I can simply reach out and leave them with an indelible token of my esteem stamped on their window in purple ink.


Posted by David Bogner on November 11, 2010 | Permalink


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As an avid cyclist, I was run off the road, had coffee thrown at me etc... so many times that I stick to mountain biking now even though I prefer the road.
Most drivers stink. Period.

Posted by: quietusleo | Nov 11, 2010 1:36:28 PM

If you want this 'stamp' to have any meaning to the Israeli driver - you will have to change the drawing, it is the middle finger that is considered rude in Israel. I think I have seen people 'swear' just like on your 'stamp' but they must originate from else where.

Posted by: yaffa glass | Nov 11, 2010 3:38:37 PM

A paint gun is definitely the best instrument of revenge, especially if a window is open. However, aiming a paint gun would probably get you shot in Israel. So why not get a loud speaker system attached to your helmet that will enable you to clearly and publicly explain the social and mental deficiencies of the bad drivers?

Posted by: Barzilai | Nov 11, 2010 7:55:37 PM

I wanted to make up little cards that read "Congratulations, You Parked Like An Idiot" and put them on windshields. I figured idiot would annoy people more than asshole would.

I've also always wanted cars to have paint guns. any car with more than X number of splats would be parked for a week - or something like that.

Posted by: Beth | Nov 11, 2010 8:35:39 PM

You need to talk to 'Q' about something that you can purchase that will disable the other vehicle. Than you can laugh while they scratch their head and wonder how they got stuck on the side of the road.

Posted by: Jack | Nov 11, 2010 9:48:03 PM

yaffa glass: that IS the middle finger, isn't it?

Posted by: ProphetJoe | Nov 11, 2010 11:28:50 PM


Posted by: LakewoodFallingDown | Nov 11, 2010 11:48:50 PM

Yes you are right, that was the middle finger used in the stamp, but in Israel it (the middle finger) is used differently on such occasions.

The middle finger is separated from the other fingers whilst the other 3 fingers are raised upwards, the middle finger points downwards.

Sorry! I got so excited that I failed to see which finger was used.
So it is אותה הגברת בשינוי האדרת

Posted by: yaffa glass | Nov 12, 2010 2:02:26 AM

On the other hand... I have sometimes thought that I should have a "Todah" sign in my car, ready to flash when another driver is gracious (which happens too). Maybe now I will do it.

Posted by: zalman | Nov 12, 2010 2:57:26 AM


Just wave, that's what we do in Toronto when someone lets us into his lane.

Posted by: Michael | Nov 12, 2010 5:38:11 AM

Apparently the road is not the place where people show their best side (I was thinking about the drivers of course).

Posted by: Ilana-Davitata | Nov 12, 2010 8:58:51 AM

Israeli driving. :)
Worse, though: you never know what kind of weapon they hide under their seat or in their gloves compartment. There have been so many stories of idiot drivers who pulled over and wounded/shot/stabbed those who'd justifiedly call them on their bad driving... be careful.

Posted by: a. | Nov 12, 2010 10:37:13 AM

yaffa glass: "The middle finger is separated from the other fingers whilst the other 3 fingers are raised upwards, the middle finger points downwards." - Isn't that what those beautiful ladies do with their hands on stage when dancing to Moshik Afia's hits.

Posted by: Rami | Nov 12, 2010 3:54:53 PM

Dude! Make it 2 stamps and send one my one. I promise to put it to good use. You have not seen bad driving until you had a South Florida land yacht coming at ya driven by a little ol' lady that can barely see over the steering wheel. Or, the young turks on crotch rockets tearing through bumper to bumper traffic at off the scale speeds. Sheesh!

Posted by: Allan, South Florida | Nov 13, 2010 6:06:43 PM

My instructor at the old AACI course on reporting traffic offenses used to say, "Don't get mad. Get even. Which doesn't mean taking the law into your own hands. Report 'em." Time, date, location, license plate number, make, model and color of car, nature of offense. It works. They get fined. (I've done it and gotten back letters from the police stating that they pursued the case and fined the offender.) I think that Metuna teaches these courses now.

There's Or Adom, a Hebrew-language site that allows people to report traffic offenses by photographing them -- which may not be all that feasible on a scooter, but still, something is being done.

Posted by: Rahel | Nov 14, 2010 2:07:12 PM

Ah... here's an online form for reporting traffic offenses. (It's in Hebrew.)

Posted by: Rahel | Nov 14, 2010 2:18:42 PM

Ah... here's an online form for reporting traffic offenses. (It's in Hebrew.)

Posted by: Rahel | Nov 14, 2010 2:19:22 PM

We nearly got slammed (in our car) in a *parking garage* tonight. Apparently we missed the announcement that Sunday night is Indy 500 night in the kanyon garage.

The idiotic moves I see in cars - even when they are not moving - astounds me.

Posted by: Alissa | Nov 14, 2010 11:12:19 PM

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