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Sunday, April 05, 2009

A friendly request

If you have already finished your Passover cleaning...

If your kitchen has already been 'turned over', with all the passover dishes, pots and pans in their places...

If all your silver has been polished...

If your family is now only eating 'Hametz' outside...

If your Seder table is already set (with place cards and matching Haggadahs)...

If you are now leisurely sitting around reviewing Passover songs and traditions with your children...

... please don't share any of this information with me, as it is likely to negatively impact our friendship.

Oh, and for the love of G-d, don't even hint about any of that stuff to Zahava... because she will kill you.

Posted by David Bogner on April 5, 2009 | Permalink


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i sooooo hear you

Posted by: triLcat | Apr 5, 2009 11:29:41 AM

How about...my oven has been cleaned, but not kashered. The girls room has been "straightened out" but not the final floor cleaning, my bedroom has been straightened, but not cleaned, and the pesach dishes are now outside on the porch? Is that behind enough?

Posted by: Safranit | Apr 5, 2009 12:19:18 PM

Got put to work, did you? :)

Posted by: Karl Newman | Apr 5, 2009 12:47:26 PM

We are going to be somewhere between London and Hong Kong at the beginning of Pesach. I am soooo frustrated. This will be the first time in our married life we will not have shared this festival together with friends. Happy cleaning and Chag Sameach to you all.

Posted by: Noa | Apr 5, 2009 1:27:07 PM

I LOVED this post!!

So, at 12:36 in the afternoon, my eldest finally got out of bed. I immediately held a semi-family meeting with her and my youngest, to discuss cleaning for Pesach, which we are beginning now. (my husband is at work and my son is on tiyul)

My eldest asked if she could "just" do a bit more work on her avodat shorashim before starting, and my youngest wanted another 10 minutes on the computer.

Did I mention that we are just STARTING to clean for Pesach now?!?!

Posted by: Rivka with a capital A | Apr 5, 2009 1:51:19 PM

what's the impact of saying, "i still have to pack up 8 people for ten days in Florida"? just wondering. hypothetically.
i DO still have to take the girl's shoe shopping...that alone is worth cleaning the oven and polishing the silver, i think.
we've only made pesach once at home...thank goodness for relatives who are willing to have us come for the whole chag!

Posted by: debbie | Apr 5, 2009 3:09:20 PM

i am not even at home until tonight.......we have till wednesday - what's the rush?

Posted by: Hadassah | Apr 5, 2009 3:11:55 PM

Just starting on the kitchen today.

All we've done in my house is the two bedrooms (and I haven't even completely finished mine), the porch, and the bathroom (but I still have one cabinet there to check).

Did I mention we are just starting the kitchen today?

Posted by: Sarah B. | Apr 5, 2009 3:12:26 PM

I am so on your same schedule! The only reason the ovens have already been self cleaned is the fear that doing so might necessitate a service call to fix said ovens.

Posted by: Rachel | Apr 5, 2009 3:32:01 PM

I'm sitting here reading your post, 4 p.m., Sunday afternoon. Which MIGHT lead you to believe that everything is turned over and ready. But think again. I'm just so overwhelmed, I can't do anything but see if some of my favorite bloggers have updated (thanks for that, BTW). And I think I'll go check out Facebook too.

It's going to be a long week.

Posted by: Baila | Apr 5, 2009 4:10:59 PM

So what you're saying is that instead of forcing Akiva to eat his cereal in the yard, I can send him over to your house? Cool!

Posted by: noa | Apr 5, 2009 4:36:16 PM

What about people who sit around your seder table and say "I was so busy packing to come here that I almost didn't have time to get my manicure". Is there a special form of torture for them?

Posted by: Chedva | Apr 5, 2009 5:09:03 PM

So if we're just selling all the chametz in our apartment and going away...? {ducks and runs}

Posted by: Ezzie | Apr 5, 2009 5:34:32 PM

triLcat ... Good to hear I'm not alone. :-)

Safranit ... Welcome to the club.

Karl Newman... SO far I've assumed more of a supervisory role... but my time on the chain gang is about to start.

Noa... Sorry to hear that.

Rivka with a capital A ... My kids tried that, but I did what any parent would do: I bribed them with non-specific promises of rewards.

debbie ... We did the Passover in Florida thing for many years (I was the bandleader for a decade at the Fontainbleau in Miami Beach), so I know what the easy life is like. We started staying home when Ariella was old enough to understand what was going on. We didn't want her to think Passover was about rich, spoiled Jews eating to discomfort and abusing the wait staff.

Hadassah ... I've been following along on your blog... you aren't fooling anyone. :-)

Sarah B. ... OK, you're still in my league. :-)

Rachel ... Your klita is complete. Only an Israeli would use such rationale.

Baila ... No hurry. :-)

noa... No problem, so long as you don't mind me putting him to work. :-)

Chedva... LOL! You are a panic!

Ezzie ... I can't get too angry because we used to do that (see my response to Debbie).

Posted by: treppenwitz | Apr 5, 2009 5:43:45 PM

Did I mention that we are just STARTING to clean for Pesach now?!?!

So are we. It's not a big deal. There is just no purpose in cleaning earlier because the kids just mess it up again. Just this morning some of the kids raided the pantry and took stuff into their rooms. So we will:

* One pantry was cleaned and filled with Pesach stuff this morning.
* Lock up the chametz (except for what we are eating the next 2-3 days).
* Clean the bedrooms and bathrooms.
* Finish eating mamash chametz.
* Clean the kitchen.
* Self clean the ovens.
* Take apart the fridge and wash every part. This happens once a year, and I do it late at night when everyone is sleeping so I can spread towels around the whole kitchen and family room to allow all the pieces to dry before I put it together again.
* Put away all the chametz dishes, cutlery, pots, and pans, etc.
* Convert over to Pesach (boiling, stones, etc).
* Take out all the Pesach stuff.

Posted by: Mark | Apr 5, 2009 7:03:38 PM

Hang in there folks. The only positive thing about Pesach cleaning is that it is over, for better or worse, by Seder night (and for those of us who are making Seder this year, by Tuesday night at the latest!!). Then you can think to yourself, boy, I don't have to do THAT again for a whole year....

Posted by: westbankmama | Apr 5, 2009 8:01:43 PM

Reminds me of that commercial, "Don't hate me because I am beautiful."

Or in this case, "don't hate me for enjoying my weekend." ;)

Posted by: Jack | Apr 5, 2009 11:52:30 PM

Jack, We DO.

Posted by: Yeshara | Apr 6, 2009 12:55:28 AM

Are you kidding, all I have to do is pack my suitcase and wash the floor and I haven't even done that yet, If I actually had to make Pesach I'd be completely screwed.

Posted by: Max Power | Apr 6, 2009 7:38:12 AM

I'm so glad that we are not the only ones who are not finished.

We have an excuse (sort of) since David is sitting shiva...I've just been standing by and forcing a smile as I watch each visitor bring in cakes, cookies, bagels, kugels, etc. My kitchen is a huge chametz fest. I'm assuming that I will start to freak out about this sometime tomorrow.

Wishing you and all the family Chag Kasher V'Sameach. We're looking forward to seeing you all soon.

Posted by: orieyenta | Apr 6, 2009 9:41:16 PM

We have an excuse (sort of) since David is sitting shiva...I've just been standing by and forcing a smile as I watch each visitor bring in cakes, cookies, bagels, kugels, etc. My kitchen is a huge chametz fest. I'm assuming that I will start to freak out about this sometime tomorrow.

Wow, this is really not right. What on earth are people thinking????

Posted by: Mark | Apr 7, 2009 12:37:57 AM

How in the world did any of you blokes have time to READ before Pesach? I had time to post previously written pieces, and that's about all.... Now its chol hamoed, and my kids are bugging me for the computer (breathing down my neck) , as I try and catch up a bit on my reading....

Posted by: rickismom | Apr 13, 2009 10:54:00 AM

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