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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Diner Dinner

While we were out at the Blood Sweat & Tears concert, Ariella and Gilad cleaned the house and did all most of the dishes.  Yonah's contribution, apparently, was simply staying out from under foot.  As a reward, last night Zahava and I made the crew a rare treat; Diner Dinner.

There are few bribes (and fewer threats) a parent can offer their children that measure up to the raw motivating power of Diner Dinner

Mind you, it isn't something one can offer too often because Child Protective Services is likely to cart the kids off to foster homes.  But when used judiciously - such as to reward an extremely good job, or provide motivation for a particularly distasteful task - we've had excellent success with this bit of gastronomic graft.

During Spring, Summer and Fall, the Diner Dinner menu looks like this:

  • Grilled Cheese sandwiches (heavy on the butter so the bread is nice and greasy)
  • French Fries (ketchup pretends to be a vegetable in this 'meal')
  • Chocolate Milkshakes (served in tall glasses with flexi-straws)
  • Slice of Pie (optional)

During the winter Hot Cocoa replaces the milkshakes, and Tomato Soup is added for extra warmth.

From a nutritional standpoint, Diner Dinner is a nightmare of fat, starch, cholesterol and sugar, so you'll want to use this bribe sparingly. But when your kids come through for you big time... it's nice to let them know you noticed.

Now all we need to do is install a Seeburg-O-Matic selector (Macgyvered via Bluetooth to my iTunes) next to the kitchen table, and we'll be all set.

Seeburgomatic   

Posted by David Bogner on September 24, 2008 | Permalink

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David, with all due respect, I would suggest you find an alternative and
healthier way to show
your kids your appreciation.

Your are literally
killing them with your
kindness

Posted by: Dean | Sep 24, 2008 11:05:33 AM

Dean: hope the fact that the kids get this meal only 3-4 times a year makes you feel better.

Oh.

And the bread is whole wheat.

And the "fries" are baked in the oven.

Posted by: zahava | Sep 24, 2008 11:18:58 AM

Dean... Did you miss the thee points in this short post where I said this was a rare treat and that it should be offered judiciously? If the kids see this horrifying culinary combination 4 times a year I'd be incredibly surprised. Trust me, we have plenty of other (healthier) ways of rewarding/bribing them. This is just a bit of decadence packaged as 'comfort food'. It's not like we're sending them a bottle of Scotch for doing their homework! Sheesh!!!

Posted by: treppenwitz | Sep 24, 2008 11:36:47 AM

Just curiously, are there actually people out there who eat Grilled Cheese Sandwiches without a ton of butter? Does that even qualify as Grilled Cheese?

Contrary to that obvious buzzkill Dean up above, I think this is a great idea.

Posted by: dfb1968 | Sep 24, 2008 12:04:46 PM

Oh c'mon, Dean. An occasional greasy meal won't hurt them. Not teaching them to live a little will.

Posted by: Karl Newman | Sep 24, 2008 12:05:46 PM

Don't call child protective services on me, but if you scale back on the butter and add some crudite, I think that Diner Dinner is a perfectly fine meal. . . which we enjoy on a somewhat regular basis : ).

Posted by: Rachel | Sep 24, 2008 12:52:05 PM

Ohhhh, it sounds soooo good! (I'm an organics and health food chick 98% of the year), but hey once in a while, Grease is Great!

I can be bribed with large cut chips (French Fries) cooked in fat with large dollops of fresh mayonnaise and SALT!

Posted by: Noa | Sep 24, 2008 12:52:21 PM

Don't call child protective services on me, but if you scale back on the butter and add some crudite, I think that Diner Dinner is a perfectly fine meal. . . which we enjoy on a somewhat regular basis : ).

Posted by: Rachel | Sep 24, 2008 12:54:24 PM

I was kinda hoping to see that jukebox with a Hebrew keyboard.

"Put a shekel in and play Aleph Tet!"

Posted by: Elisson | Sep 24, 2008 1:08:01 PM

Pie is optional? I can already smell the hot apple pie... maybe with a scoop of ice cream to top it off. (Guess the kids would have to clean the whole house, vacuum out the car, polish your shoes, etc. to get that far in the meal. ;-) )

Sounds like a great treat though!

Posted by: JDMDad | Sep 24, 2008 1:19:40 PM

I think the average Shabbos meal, with potato kugel, cholent with flanken and marrow bones, and 5 courses, is way more calorie and fat laden. btw - I haven't had a grilled cheese sandwich in...well I don't remember how long. My mouth is watering.

Posted by: mata hari | Sep 24, 2008 1:45:03 PM

dfb1968 ... Yes. They are known as 'my wife'. [ducking and running]

Karl Newman... I agree. Letting them know how to treat themselves to rich food in moderation is healthy. Denying them everything 'bad for you' just creates 'forbidden fruit'.

Rachel... No surprise there. you grew up in Missouri (where 'drippins' is considered one of the food groups). :-)

Elisson ... Nah. Israel has great food, but it doesn't have a diner culture like the US. Even now when I keep kosher, I still like to visit a diner for a cup of coffee and a scoop of (kosher) ice cream... just for the ambiance.

JDMDad ... After I wrote that I realized how silly it sounds. There's always room for pie a-la-mode!

mata hari... Treat yourself. You deserve it.

Posted by: treppenwitz | Sep 24, 2008 1:58:28 PM

We also compromise with the health vs. a really good time issue. My husband loves cinnamon rolls. (The favored recipe requires 250 grams of butter, vanilla pudding mix, and way more sugar than anyone's pancreas needs.) The only time he was permitted them was on his birthday, because I want him to live to be really old. Over the years, he has convinced the boys that they, too, prefer cinnamon rolls to cake on their birthdays. Now this has become the family minhag. It has reached the point that, as the boys start looking for shidduchim, it is important to them that the prospective kallah's birthday enhances the yearly cinnamon roll schedule. (Anybody got a nice 18-year-old daughter born between February and July? We're a bit light during those months.)

Posted by: rutimizrachi | Sep 24, 2008 2:20:56 PM

Can I come to your house for dinner?

Posted by: Raizy | Sep 24, 2008 2:32:04 PM

Delurking to say that I think the diner dinner is a fabulous idea and I am so craving grilled cheese now.

Posted by: Jendeis | Sep 24, 2008 4:16:05 PM

BTW, psychologically very smart "comfort food," after a lousy couple of days. Kol hakavod.

Posted by: rutimizrachi | Sep 24, 2008 4:28:19 PM

I think Dean is way too uptight.
I love this idea.
Our dinner treat as kids was breakfast for dinner (offered VERY rarely)
We usually chose pancakes.
mmmm.

Posted by: weese | Sep 24, 2008 6:53:32 PM

Diner food to Sophie means either choc chip pancakes or matzah ball soup!

Posted by: Val | Sep 24, 2008 8:22:50 PM

Raizy -- you beat me to the punch line.

I want to come to Diner Dinner night!!

(isn't it amazing how many of us covet greasy grilled cheese sandwiches!)

Posted by: Rivka with a capital A | Sep 24, 2008 9:50:12 PM

When I was a kid I used to make grilled cheese in oil in a frying pan. Now I occasionally take a slab of low-fat cheese on a whole wheat pita and put it in the toaster oven. If it's really low-fat, the cheese doesn't even melt. Now that's pathetic. Sigh.

Posted by: Baila | Sep 24, 2008 11:10:24 PM

for a menu like that I'D come and clean your house and do most of the dishes. although the diner dinner of my childhood (served at the Gateway on Central Ave) was turkey with mashed potatoes, gravy, canned green beans and a wiggly circle of cranberry sauce right out of the can. we had grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato soup and rice pretty regularly at home, but my mom just couldn't make the turkey gravy like they did at the Gateway...i don't really want to think why....

Posted by: Debbie | Sep 24, 2008 11:41:06 PM

@dfb1968: Of course (and at least one of them is not called 'my wife'). Only unbuttered bread can properly absorb the tasty cheese fat :)

Posted by: reader | Sep 25, 2008 1:03:10 AM

Oh, what I wouldn't do for such a dinner...I wish I could offer my babysitting services, but I'm sure you've got that covered.

Posted by: tnspr569 | Sep 25, 2008 1:10:00 AM

"@dfb1968: Of course (and at least one of them is not called 'my wife'). Only unbuttered bread can properly absorb the tasty cheese fat :)"

reader: you don't understand....the butter goes on the OUTSIDE (next to the heat) I have ocasionally buttered both sides by accident and I can vouch that it isn't a terrible thing whatsoever. The outside butter helps the browning(look up "Maillard reaction" if your curious) and the inside butter just makes it taste....... bettery.

Posted by: wannabe chef/ professional fresser | Sep 25, 2008 6:08:09 AM

ok. u guyses are now officially the coolest parents with the bestest treats. u r my gurus!!

Posted by: Hadassah | Sep 25, 2008 1:52:01 PM

Gosh, it leaves me wishing I wasn't lactose intolerant. Maybe if I took some lactaid first...

Posted by: Yosef | Sep 25, 2008 4:02:30 PM

@wannabe chef/ professional fresser: That sounds interesting. I will try the butter on the outer side thing this evening.

@Yosef: Maybe you would tolerate some aged cheese? A decent aged cheese contains less than 0.5 % of lactose and tastes better than the young ones anyway.

Posted by: reader | Sep 25, 2008 6:48:48 PM

Reader: I never heard that before, but it still doesn't help me with the milkshake :_(

Posted by: Yosef | Sep 25, 2008 8:04:08 PM

Oh, sorry, Yosef. Not even I would try aged cheese as a substitute for the milk in shakes.

(In case it does not have to be a vanilla or a chocolate shake: Have you ever tried coconut cream? At least for me, it works well in fruit shakes, especially with pineapple or strawberries: 1/3 coconut cream, 1/3 water and crushed ice and 1/3 fruit, all together processed with a hand blender.)

Posted by: reader | Sep 25, 2008 11:35:04 PM

@wannabe chef: You 're right, it tastes good with the butter outside! The only bad thing is that I find those kind of cheese sandwiches yummy but cannot eat more than one of them: They are very, very filling.

Posted by: reader | Sep 25, 2008 11:41:21 PM

My favorite diner meal features meatloaf. I don't know why diner meatloaf is better than homemade, but it is.

Grilled cheese sammies....mmmmmm

I'd take a good rootbeer float over milkshakes, anyday. Memories of my grandparents taking us to A&W on hot Stockton nights, I suppose.

Posted by: Liz Ditz | Sep 26, 2008 11:28:35 PM

Mmmm. Grilled cheese. I haven't had one of the real buttery greesy ones in years. And can I get someome to send me a bottle of scotch for doing my home work?

Posted by: Amanda | Oct 10, 2008 3:02:56 AM

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