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Thursday, January 17, 2008

I think there's a lion in your bed

Last night around two in the morning I heard the familiar patter of little feet on the stairs and knew without having to come fully awake that our youngest was coming down for one of his not-infrequent nocturnal visits.

Sure enough, within moments I felt the soft tap on my shoulder and the whisper in my ear "Abba, can I snuggle you?".  This is Yonah's way of saying that he was uncomfortable in his own bed and wanted to spend the rest of the night spooned (well, actually forked would be more accurate) in next to me.

Without a word I moved over and lifted the down comforter to allow him to scurry under its warm embrace before allowing myself to drift back to sleep.

Sometime later (no idea what time it was) I woke up to Yonah lifting up one of my eyelids.  This is a horrifying trick that Gilad used to use to wake me up when he was this age.  I guess little boys require eye-contact to make sure they have your undivided attention.

Anyway, with my eyeball starting to tear up from being softly buffeted by his whispered words, I heard "Abba, I'm going back to my own bed now."

I asked him if everything was OK, since it was odd for him to go back upstairs after insinuating himself into our bed.

His breathy response from within millimeters of my face:  "I can't sleep here Abba.  I think there's a lion in your bed."

Hmmm, maybe Zahava's right about my snoring.

Posted by David Bogner on January 17, 2008 | Permalink

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That's priceless, and far more polite than the comments typically received by our resident snorer.

Posted by: Rachel | Jan 17, 2008 1:52:02 PM

That IS priceless.... way to bring a smile to my face first thing in the morning!

Posted by: Val | Jan 17, 2008 2:56:56 PM

Love that. In our house it's usually me pulling on LO's eyelid. Ever since she was a toddler, she has ALWAYS been the warmest in the house. On a cold night, she makes a great personal heater!

Posted by: orieyenta | Jan 17, 2008 4:39:11 PM

I guess little boys require eye-contact to make sure they have your undivided attention.

I know that trick, er, that has been done to me more than once. Quite uncomfortable. However I am sad to say that I can one up that. My daughter went through a period of time in which she thought that the way to wake up abba was to slam her little fist against my crotch and or stomach.

Fortunately we managed to explain to her why this was a bad idea and she stopped.

Posted by: Jack | Jan 17, 2008 5:17:30 PM

So that's what's been in my bed all these years! I thought it was my husband.

Posted by: cruisin-mom | Jan 17, 2008 5:37:52 PM

hmm, good way to get him to go back to bed I'd say.

Posted by: weese | Jan 17, 2008 6:34:57 PM

Priceless.

I usually describe it as the F train in my bed.

He says he doesn't snore.

Right.

Posted by: Baila | Jan 17, 2008 8:09:40 PM

In the immortal words of Terry Pratchett:

"A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores"

Posted by: efrex | Jan 17, 2008 8:17:57 PM

Sounds like he was pretty calm under the circumstances. I mean, I would have thought that if HE thought there was a lion in the bed, he would have woken up screaming "Abba, there's a lion in your bed"! That's one cool-headed kid, ya got there, Dave!:-)

Posted by: Marsha G. in Stamford | Jan 17, 2008 8:52:11 PM

Marsh G. in Stamford: first off, how the heck are ya?! :-)

Secondly. You. have. no. idea.

This child is afraid from NOTHING!

Last year his gan visited a petting zoo with a large variety of snakes. At the end-of-the-year-slide-show, about 10 slides from that trip pictured the animal handler draped in the snake-de-moment, with Yonah grabbing, um... I mean -- enthusiastically reaching for -- the snake. The other 5 kids in his class were leaning away from Yonah, the handler, the teacher, and especially the snakes!

Another parent asked in horror, "Hayeled kazeh, hoo lo mifached?!" (this boy, he isn't afraid?!). The gannenet locked her eyes on mine while responding: "Yonah?! Hoo lo mifached mei klum!" (Yonah, he isn't afraid from nothing!)

Posted by: zahava | Jan 17, 2008 9:49:44 PM

BTW, Marsha -- I KNOW your Hebrew is better than mine! The translations are for other readers who might not otherwise understand....

Posted by: zahava | Jan 17, 2008 9:51:14 PM

My snoring has been described as a freight train straining up a 30 degree incline into a headwind during an earthquake registering 7.2 on the Richter scale. Thank the Lord I'm asleep during this cacophony.

Posted by: QuietusLeo | Jan 17, 2008 11:26:43 PM

Hysterical! Great story, and as always, great telling. (And great kid!)

Posted by: Alisha | Jan 18, 2008 5:40:48 AM

my son left my wife's bed for a few days because he thought there were frogs on it.

http://agmk.blogspot.com/2007/10/jrs-nightmares-and-mine.html#links

unfortunately he was sure mine did not have any frogs, no matter how much i tried to convince him otherwise.

shabbat shalom

Posted by: Lion of Zion | Jan 18, 2008 7:23:01 AM

Our children (the 5-year-old, "Oedipus II," is asleep even now in my stead in the bed) have always favored the "H" position in sleeping between us -- feet on one, head against the other, and shove.

I always like it when me and Oedipus II are so close it looks like he only has one eye. One of the things I miss about my eldest daughter (24) and my middle son (14).

And now, all together: "In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight... A WEEM A WAP, A WEEM A WAP..."

Posted by: Wry Mouth | Jan 18, 2008 8:58:43 AM

On the subject of nocturnal visitations:
In the evening when we go to sleep, I never know in which bed and with whom I will awake. That was great during my bachelor days, but now, I'm not so sure.

Posted by: QuietusLeo | Jan 18, 2008 9:39:29 AM

In our house it is the kid who does the snoring (that's to some chernobyl-sized adenoids that *will* be removed soon). He too enjoys bedtime snuggles and the H-position - but with the added nighttime musical interlude.

Posted by: Noa | Jan 18, 2008 2:35:02 PM

That's so cute.

I have a husband who absolutely refuses to believe he snores. In his humble opinion, it's "breathing loudly". Yep, my couch and I are best friendds.

Posted by: Jaime | Jan 18, 2008 9:00:26 PM

This is a lovely post. I have just read it to the lady I am staying with in Haifa. She will end up a fan of your blog now, I just know it.
Having never had children of my own, it is always such a great joy to hear the stories from others. Keep them coming.

Posted by: noa | Jan 20, 2008 7:58:58 AM

"Yonah he isn't afraid from nothing". Have you guys forgotten ENGLISH??:-)
I, the heck, am fine! And I'm going to be on your side of the world in February...as will Eli on his 8th grade class trip! And on the family front, Elana is expecting #2 on Superbowl Sunday. In true male fashion, Yoni has told her that if she goes into labor during the game, she's on her own...(cut to Bogner household. David nodding head in agreement, Zahava frozen in horror...)

Posted by: Marsha in Stamford | Jan 20, 2008 8:06:45 AM

Rachel... You snore? I would have never guessed! :-)

Val... Don't thank me... I'm a giver.

orieyenta... Yeah, Yonah can be a handy little baked potato too. :-)

Jack... Yeah, bad idea that. :-)

cruisin-mom... I'm sure he denies it. Right? :-)

weese... Hey, I never thought of it that way! Thanks. :-)

Baila... Your Brooklyn is showing. :-)

efrex... Naturally! :-)

Marsha G. in Stamford... As Zahava already pointed out (albeit in a direct translation from Hebrew), this is one brave little boy!

QuietusLeo... lucky you! :-)

Alisha... at least we can agree on the last one.

Lion of Zion... better frogs than the third plague!

Wry Mouth... Yes, H position describes Yonah well, too. :-)

QuietusLeo... Interesting juxtaposition. ;-)

Noa... Oooh, maybe we'll see you in the hospital. Yonah has his surgery scheduled for March. :-)

Jaime... You're a good wife. Mine usually jabs me in the ribs. :-)

noa... Your wish is my command. :-)

Marsha in Stamford... You tell Yoni that the scheduling conflict is at least half his fault and that he should just suck it up and buy himself a small 'Watchman' and headphones to bring into the delivery room with him. Fair is fair. :-)

Posted by: treppenwitz | Jan 20, 2008 3:31:25 PM

You're right. He should have said to her (at the time) "Not tonight, honey. 9 months from tonight is the Superbowl"...
PS..any chance of seeing you guys when we're there? Email me!!!

Posted by: Marsha in Stamford | Jan 20, 2008 6:07:14 PM

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