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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Just a big romantic lug

I've already established my bona fides as a hopeless romantic, but it never hurts to reinforce the point.

Here's the deal...I can sleep just about anywhere, anytime and under just about any circumstances.  I've even slept soundly through gunfire (my bunk was only a few feet behind a 5" 54 Caliber naval gun).  Seriously, so long as I am warm, dry and reasonably well fed, sleep can't be very far off.

Unless there is a television operating within earshot.

As I've mentioned before, I am powerless to look away when a TV is on in the room... no matter how little interest I may have in the content of the current program.  This has been a source of friction between myself and my lovely wife for many years.

You see, when I'm tired I simply climb into bed, and within seconds I am asleep.  Just like that.  But Zahava is apparently wired differently.  She needs to channel surf and do a crossword puzzle or two at the end of her day in order to decompress.  So, if we happen to turn in at the same time, instead of going immediately to sleep... I am inevitably sucked into whatever crap she is watching on the TV.

This wouldn't be so bad if my sweetie would always remember to use the automatic sleep timer feature on our bedroom television.  This handy feature is designed so that you can set the thing to go off after a certain number of minutes... allowing the viewer to go to sleep without fear of leaving the TV (and husband) on all night.

I can't tell you how many times I've gone to bed at 10:00PM, only to find myself hopelessly invested in some pointless 'straight-to-video' movie at 4:45AM... just because Zahava forget to set the timer.  Of course she passed out ten minutes after turning on the TV, leaving me to float helplessly along on a river of horrible late-night programming.

It finally got so bad that I started banishing her to the living-room for her late evening TV fix.  She protested that she couldn't unwind unless she was watching in bed, but grudgingly agreed that it wasn't fair to me if I ended up having to stay up much later than I wanted as a result of her bed-time routine.

And for a while this worked.  I went to bed and once again enjoyed the luxury of diving head first into the dream pool whenever I felt like it.  But it didn't take long for my conscience to catch up with me.  I started lying awake in bed listening to the faint sound of the TV from upstairs... feeling like a selfish heel for banishing my wife from her own bedroom.

So yesterday I brought home a make-up gift for my lovely bride.  I left it casually in the middle of the dining room table so she couldn't help but notice it. 

What did I give her?  I gave her a gift that will allow us to once again co-exist... a gift that will let her do her bed-time decompression session in front of the tube, while keeping me beyond the reach of that oh, so bad CSI dialog.  I got here a set of wireless TV headphones.

I'll bet you didn't know that you can buy a little wireless transmitter that plugs into your television's headphone jack that will broadcast the audio to a set of special headphones so that the person watching TV doesn't bother anyone else around them?  Well gues what?  You can!

Don't say it... I know... I'm just a big romantic lug.  What can I say?

Posted by David Bogner on October 23, 2007 | Permalink


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OMG I HAVE to get some of those! My TV in the bedroom is kinda old though... I wonder if it has a headset plugin.

Jess doesn't allow me to watch TV before bed either. LOL But I do remember to set the sleep timer.

I miss my TV before bed! lol

Posted by: Tina-cious.com | Oct 23, 2007 2:34:03 PM


(For the record: I still think it is a sweet, thoughtful and romantic gift! Even if if you DO benefit as much as I do!)


Posted by: zahava | Oct 23, 2007 2:39:30 PM

If you really want to pamper her (and yourself), get her one of these:


Posted by: Dave (Balashon) | Oct 23, 2007 3:06:18 PM

Zahava - - ... and you saw him first and he's ALL yours! :)

Posted by: Val | Oct 23, 2007 3:30:45 PM

Exactly what are you guys watching? I can't find anything good or bad to watch on TV here! I miss my American TV.....which is why I spend so much time.....here!

Posted by: Baila | Oct 23, 2007 3:36:33 PM

I think it is a great idea, but are the headphones comfortable enough for those days when Zahava falls asleep after 10 minutes? I would gladly buy one for my wife, but I can see her falling asleep with the headphones on and then complaining that her ears hurt.
btw, what brand did you buy?

Posted by: David S | Oct 23, 2007 3:38:22 PM

Dear Trep,

My David won't let me read in bed when he is ready to go to sleep and will banish me from the bedroom if I want to.

Any romantic gift suggestions for my hubby?

- Illiterate in Maryland

Posted by: Jaime | Oct 23, 2007 3:41:39 PM

Tina-cious.com... I have never heard of a TV without a headphone jack, even the old black & white ones! Check... I'll bet you anything that you have one.

zahava... Thanks sweetie! [zzzzzzzzzz] :-)

Dave (Balashon)... Wow, very neat, but a tad pricey. Now if these worked as a computer monitor I would totally grab up a pair! :-)

Val... pretty smug for someone who shares a fair amount of genetic information with me. :-)

Baila... There seems to be a CSI for most medium-to-large American cities. :-)

David S... I couldn't say (I'm sure Zahava won't be shy about sharing her experiences), but I have to believe they are more comfortable than having me elbow her. As to the brand, I don't remember what brand they were, but they must be good because there is a big 'As seen on TV' sticker on the box! :-)

Jaime... How about asking him to buy you one of those handy little lights that clips onto the book?

Posted by: treppenwitz | Oct 23, 2007 3:57:29 PM

At the funeral of our next door neighbor who had served in WW II, they mentioned that once when his ship was under attack, he missed the whole exercise as he had fallen asleep below deck and not heard a thing.

Posted by: soccerdad | Oct 23, 2007 4:11:48 PM

If only all of our problems had such easy and elegant solutions.

Posted by: tnspr569 | Oct 23, 2007 8:00:25 PM

You were in the rack during GQ?

Posted by: Karl Newman | Oct 23, 2007 10:36:15 PM

soccerdad... I can totally see that happening. In the service you get so you can slep on a moments notice.

tnspr569... Amen

Karl Newman... We were at modified GC. The gunners mates were re-qualifying at the NGS range (Kaho'olawe) while the rest of the crew was involved in preparation/training for an upcoming deployment (westpac). The sonar gang and OS guys had just finished doing tracking drills to prepare to take on our helo det. and had finally been given permission to let the off-going watch turn in for a few hours in the rack (so long as we stayed below decks). The NGFS practice went on for hours and it seemed perfectly natural at the time to just go to sleep. If I remember, the engineers were also supposed to be requalifying at the same time but they ended up pusing it off until about halfway through the westpac. The ship ended up getting the Battle 'E at the end of the cruise for every department having gotten high marks on our individual qualifications.

Posted by: treppenwitz | Oct 23, 2007 11:05:08 PM

I once managed to hide in my rack during a drill. I was concealed in such a way that when they sent the messenger around to make sure everyone was up, all he saw was a pile of covers and a pillow. We won the Battle E and the SUBLANT TOPTORP competition anyway, so I guess my presence wasn't really required. :)

Oh, BTW....the area inside the main engine bedplate on a 688-class SSN is a great place to sleep during Field Day. Just get a few Kimwipes dirty to make it look like you were working, make a nest out of the rest, and enjoy. The officers wouldn't crawl down there and the Chiefs were too fat to do so (had to crawl past a hot steam line to get there). The warmth and the hum of the mains made it very conducive to rest. :)

Posted by: Karl Newman | Oct 23, 2007 11:51:46 PM

Why don't YOU set the timer for her?

Posted by: mata hari | Oct 24, 2007 3:07:19 AM

That was so romantic, but I must warn you, now that you've gone and outdone yourself like this, you're gonna have to rachet up your next gift to a crock pot.

Posted by: Bob | Oct 24, 2007 3:51:26 AM

I want to hear if this solution actually works. I have this feeling that you will become adept at lip reading... and still not get any sleep.

Posted by: weese | Oct 24, 2007 10:00:40 PM

Diving head first into the dream pool. I like that phrase. Very cool. And as far as the headset jack goes, the TV most likely has one. I have a TV in my place that's over ten years old, and it has one. I could definitely see myself falling asleep with the headset on though, so Trep, you might want to go ahead and set the timer.

Posted by: Amanda | Oct 25, 2007 3:11:06 AM

Now if I can only figure out how to get the headphones on the missus. Until then... my dreams (I have no trouble going to sleep, but still) will have an odd, infomercialistic slant whenever *I* neglect to set the off-timer.


Posted by: wrymouth | Oct 25, 2007 3:27:27 PM

Karl Newman... Um, did you ever ask to see the results of the tests they run on those little plastic radiation exposure tabs you had to wear? :-)

mata hari... Yeah right. Next thing you're gonna tell me is that I should be opening my own beer bottles, right? :-)

Bob... Um, that was last year. ;-)

weese... So far still married. :-)

Amanda... Not gonna happen. Between the TV and me, there is only one in control... and it aint me. :-)

wrymouth... OK, so I'm not the only one whose dreams get all screwed up by whatever is on TV when she leaves it on all night?

Posted by: treppenwitz | Oct 25, 2007 3:51:45 PM

I know about the gadget, but she refuses to wear it. Besides, if she agreed, it would still be my job to get it off when she falls asleep, together with the glasses, to switch off the TV and to get down that darn Holandia bed of hers...

Posted by: SnoopyTheGoon | Nov 1, 2007 9:23:25 PM

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