The chupchik for the kumkum

The title of today's post literally means 'the thingy for the tea kettle', a common phrase repairmen hear since rare is the Israeli who actually knows what the heating element inside their hot water urn is called.

Not too long ago I discovered this dirty little secret about Israelis that has boosted my confidence immeasurably in all my Hebrew dealings...  that most of them have enormous holes in their active vocabularies, especially when it comes to their knowledge of the correct names for various objects one encounters in everyday life.

For example, every man, woman and child here knows that a bicycle is called an 'ofanayim' and that a motorcycle is called an 'ofanoah'.  But when it comes time to get more granular... say, to point out some moving part of either of these common conveyances... well, let's just say you're gonna to hear a lot of 'ha-chupchik m'tachat ha zeh' (the thingamabob under the thingy), even from sabras (native born Israelis).

This is where it becomes possible for immigrants and tourists to level the playing field just a tad.  You see, while your Hebrew may have holes in it large enough to walk through... you can assert a bit of power over the conversation by positively identifying an object in a deliberate and timely manner.  This can often be accomplished by simply placing your finger on the object of the discussion.

But what to do when that object is out of reach?  Let's say the thing you are looking at is high on a shelf or you have a question about a part deep under your car's hood?  Or, as often happens to me, what to do if you have a question about some aspect of a chart or diagram on the screen during someone's power-point presentation?

Here's a handy tip for anyone visiting (or moving to) Israel who may not be armed with fluent Hebrew skills but wants to empower themselves with the ability to correctly identify anything they can see:

Buy a laser pointer and carry it everywhere with you.

I can honestly say that the single most valuable tool I have for making myself understood here in Israel is my humble laser pointer.  With the exception of Shabbat, I never go anywhere without this handy tool in my pocket.  You see, there is a basic rule of the jungle that is as valid here as anywhere else on the planet:

"If you can't name it or describe it... you'd damned well better be able to point to it."

I can't tell you how many times I have been in a store... at the mechanic... in a meeting, etc., where I have had to ask about something... that 'thing' right over there!... but was not close enough to actually touch it or pick it up. 

During my first year or two here I would point impotently with my finger in the general direction of what I was inquiring about... "y'know, that green/brown/red/blue thingamabob right over there".  Or if I had a captive audience I might grab a napkin or scrap of paper and draw a crude rendering of what I was interested in discussing.

But last year I realized that if I simply carried a laser pointer around with me I could easily point to anything I could see and I would immediately be understood. 

Not only that, but once an item had been targeted by the little glowing dot, the salesman/mechanic/coworker would helpfully exclaim, "Oh, you mean the [fill in the correct Hebrew word for whatever I had indicated]", if he/she knew it.  This has allowed me to continue the conversation, confident that we are discussing the same thing... but now armed with its proper name.

Laser pointers come in such tiny, inexpensive packages these days (many small enough to fit on key-chains) that there is no excuse for not carrying one.  One word of caution, though:  Many airlines don't like them in the cabin, so put them in your checked bag.

Don't thank me... I'm a giver!

On an unrelated note, I see that the final round of the JIBs (Jewish Israeli Blog Awards) is well underway and treppenwitz has managed to advance in several categories.  If you like what you find here (and feel like stroking my ego a tad), why not click over and show your support?

Best Large Blog

Best Slice of Life in Israel Blog

Best Personal Blog

Best Overall Blog Post ( 'A Difficult Lesson')

This year it is a one-person-one-vote system in each category so each vote is weighted much more heavily than usual.

Thanks in advance for your support!