The outing of my inner monologue

Comedienne Lily Tomlin had a great line in her one-woman Broadway show a few years ago (I'm paraphrasing from memory):

"I wish I could pair up all the crazy people who wander around New York City talking to themselves so at least they'd look like they were having sane conversations."

I have been vaguely aware for some time that my inner monologue has been bubbling closer and closer to the surface.  Perhaps it's the process of keeping this on-line journal that has channeled my inner monologue up towards the light.  Or maybe it's just the immediacy of the news content I follow and how it seems to have a more direct effect on my life than it used to. 

Whatever the reason, the net result is a nearly non-stop stream of insane audible outbursts as I read or listen to the news.  Here are a few examples from a few minutes ago as I scanned the on-line news headlines before getting out of bed:

Headline:  University students take to streets in Tel Aviv

Outburst: Oy, someone should clue these kids in to current U.S. University tuition levels... A little perspective is all I'm saying.

Headline: Olmert hopes Iran issue can be resolved peacefully

Outburst:  Yeah, and when I was five I hoped for a pony.

Headline:  Molotov cocktail hurled at car near Bethlehem

Outburst:  Nah nah nah! Missed me again! [tfu, tfu, tfu]

Headline:  Bishara: I won't be treated like common criminal

Outburst:  No sh*t Sherlock... you're gonna to be treated like a very special criminal.

Headline:  NASA launches satellite to study strange clouds

Outburst:  Ooooh, that one over there looks like a pretty unicorn! [ka-CHING!]

Headline:  Checkpoints between Jordan Valley, Nablus opened

Outburst:  Hmmm, I wonder how long until the inevitable next terrorist attack?

Headline: Police say they'll arrest Bishara upon his return

Outburst:  Uh huh... and I'm gonna wear my hair long when it all grows back.

Headline:  Hamas denies it attempted to kidnap soldiers

Outburst:  I'm shocked... shocked to find that gambling kidnapping is going on here!

Headline:  PRC says it will keep firing rockets at Israel

Outburst:  Pshaw!... I'm sure they don't really mean it.

Headline: Kassam fired from northern Gaza

Outburst:  Well, that didn't take long.

You get the idea.  It's gotten to the point where I don't really notice that I'm doing this... and I've even stopped caring if there are other people around to hear me carrying on like a lunatic.

Maybe Lily Tomlin was right... I need to be paired off with someone with similar self-control issues so at least we'd appear to the outside world to be having a sane conversation.