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Thursday, October 26, 2006

goddess credentials

A couple of you made the observation on Tuesday's post that Zahava must be some sort of goddess after having been such a good sport about my shameless public leering at Caroline Glick's glamorous new headshot. 

Well, I've decided to give you another glimpse at Zahava's goddess credentials:

During our dating days, Zahava had many occasions to ask me the typical new couple question, "Tell me again how you know [so and so]?".  It is a testament to both her self-confidence and patience that she calmly accepted my unvarying answer, "Um, we used to date" without kicking me in the shins and simply walking away.

After awhile, whenever I would introduce her to anyone who happened to be female, Zahava started automatically asking, "Let me guess... you two used to go out, right?"

Before you get the wrong idea... it wasn't as if I cut such a huge swath through the population of eligible women in the greater New York area.  It's just that two opposite mathematical forces were being exerted upon my collection of friends:

1.  From age of 22 to 29 my circle of 'guy friends' was both small and static. Almost all of them were musicians... and my gig schedule in the evenings and on weekends didn't really lend itself to enlarging that social circle.  In fact I actually lost touch with some of the guys I used to be close with during this period because we didn't play for the same bands! So instead of being 'static', one could even say this group was actually shrinking.

2.  During that same period, pretty much the only social interaction I had outside of my small circle of musician friends was through dating.   Since I remained friendly with almost everyone I dated, my circle of female friends and acquaintances continued to steadily grow while my circle of male friends stayed static... or perhaps even dwindled. 

Net result:  I ended up with a disproportionately large number of female friends... and a relatively modest number of male friends.

I have to say that Zahava has remained a very good sport about meeting my ex's (thus the 'goddess' title).  But to be honest, my wife can't complain too loudly... since as I've written before, one of my old girlfriends introduced us!


Posted by David Bogner on October 26, 2006 | Permalink


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must say that I didn't really see a huge difference in Ms. Glick other than the first picture being black and white and the hair being a bit longer... then again, I'm a hetero female looking at another female...

As to Zahava. She just sounds rational and intelligent to me. And like someone who knows you. Dating is something single people do. If it didn't work out with one person, we gave another a person a go (I mean that nicely...). When you meet "the one", it doesn't matter how many people you dated before. The buck stops there. You two obviously knew that you were without question "the one" for each other. Dating prior to that realization is irrelevant. The fact that you are still friendly with other women is a positive thing. The fact that your heart and life are with Zahava makes friendships nothing more than friendships. I wouldn't say that her being a good sport gives her goddess status, but you are still a very lucky man. As I'm sure you know! :-)

Posted by: nrg | Oct 26, 2006 12:41:58 PM

Awwwwww..... shucks, sweetie! <3

Ummmm... do ya need something?! LOL!

nrg: shhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (even though I agree on principal with what you've said, a girl still likes to be treated like a goddess!)

Posted by: zahava | Oct 26, 2006 1:28:17 PM

May I redirect? Zahava is a goddess. Thank your lucky stars that she chose you! Treat her well!! (was that better???) :-)

Posted by: nrg | Oct 26, 2006 2:36:02 PM

Yes, your wife is terrific, but as nrg said, dating is what single people do. I think it's a credit to people who have dated each other if they can remain friendly, or at least civil. No reason to burn bridges. And introducing someone you dated to someone else is the greatest chesed a person can do! How many matches have come through friends setting up former dates.

Posted by: Essie | Oct 26, 2006 3:52:47 PM

:-) Yes, yes, YEEEESSSS! [brims with appreciation]

Posted by: zahava | Oct 26, 2006 3:57:04 PM

Pretty much what everyone else is saying. A girl I sort of went out with for a few years and I broke up, but I was already really close with her sister (year younger) who was like a sister to me. We stayed close, and I set her up with my ex-roomate, and they're now married.

At a certain point, people need to realize they're no longer in HS anymore.

Posted by: Ezzie | Oct 26, 2006 6:10:12 PM


Posted by: Seattle | Oct 26, 2006 6:22:24 PM

a goddess and a gem and a good sport too...i think you godda go and put a kvitle in the kotel kiddo

Posted by: marallyn | Oct 26, 2006 6:30:18 PM

Beautifully said, nrg.

I'm glad to know that my husband and I aren't the only ones that think it's ok and are comfortable around each other ex's. I just don't understand the jealousy factor.

Zahava, just from what David has written in previous posts, as well as your own contributions, there is a long list of reasons why David should put you on a pedestal - I for one remember the picture he dared to show of you sleeping on the couch with Yonah. Now that one should have gotten you breakfast in bed for a year. : )

Posted by: jaime | Oct 26, 2006 7:43:19 PM

David... oh yeah, you sure got lucky, alright! ;) And our family did, too! As a sister-in-law and friend, she's #1, too!

Posted by: val | Oct 26, 2006 7:50:15 PM

Hey....just because some of us should have been seeing a shrink...doesn't mean the whole circle was shrinking...and of course your wife is a goddess....We don't have to go into the particulars as to why.....long list

Posted by: Shmiel | Oct 26, 2006 11:18:06 PM

Oh yes she is, yes she is!

(nodding energitically!)

Posted by: Irina | Oct 27, 2006 5:46:24 AM

Dear all... I'd say that's a pretty clear majority. :-)

Posted by: treppenwitz | Oct 27, 2006 4:50:29 PM

All hail the goddess! The only it has been at all awkward being fiends with ex-girlfriends is when she is married, while I am not. Some husbands just aren't down with that...

Posted by: mcaryeh | Nov 5, 2006 8:36:10 AM

All hail the goddess! The only time it has been at all awkward being friends with ex-girlfriends is when she is married, while I am not. Some husbands just aren't down with that...

Posted by: mcaryeh | Nov 5, 2006 8:37:20 AM

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