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Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Deep breaths

OK, I'm not going to speculate or comment on the reports coming in that the U.S. Embassy in Damascus has come under attack.  Either it's happening... or it isn't.  It isn't the first time U.S. personnel and/or property have come under attack here in the middle east and it certainly won't be the last. 

Either people will simply come to accept this as the cost of doing business with thugs and terrorists... or they'll finally make a decision to actually hold the sponsors and host countries responsible. 

But this would require actually responding... so I'm not holding my breath.

Not my problem.  I'm just sitting here taking deep breaths and wondering what kind of 'confidence building measures' will be recommended in order to quell the anger behind this (alleged) attack.

Anyhoo... what I really wanted to share today is in no way related to politics.  It is related to lunch meat.

Like many parents, we have occasionally resorted to offering baloney, salami and other kinds of processed /sliced mystery meats to our children when they've gone through their picky-eater phases.  Yonah is going through one now and has taken a shine to both baloney and salami. 

Obviously we don't give him this nitrate-laden poison stuff at every meal, but he still eats enough of it on Shabbat to make us want to curb his desire for it just a bit. 

So I'm surfing the net and I stumble across this!  I'm wondering if there is a kosher version of this scary-assed stuff? 

Clownmeat

I first saw this here, and it immediately seemed like the perfect solution to scare the little guy off of lunch meat for life.

OK, sure he'll probably end up in therapy... and will spend the rest of his life running screaming from the room whenever he sees a clown.  But hey, that seems like a small price to pay for healthier eating habits, right?

221_16_5_126

Posted by David Bogner on September 12, 2006 | Permalink

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FYI - all deli ni Israel has MSG, but Chofetz Chaim on Aggripas makes some of his deli meats without it (he brought his deli on Aliyah from Chicago and still makes everything himself). He is happy to provide healthier lunch meats - and maybe he can make a custom version with scary faces in it.

Posted by: E | Sep 12, 2006 11:59:43 AM

Now THAT's scary... I'm running away screaming!
Stop torturing that boy and just let him eat that regular bologna & salami! Remember, those things that are denied are what they want most. He'll get tired of it.

Posted by: val | Sep 12, 2006 12:33:14 PM

It could work, it worked for me with cookies/bread, when I first read about the 'The Gingerbread Man'... Maybe the US can learn something from the tale; 'You won't eat me now, will you? said the gingerbread man. 'Of course not,' said the fox. ' ;-)

Posted by: pk | Sep 12, 2006 1:14:14 PM

i KNEW there was something wrong with those processed meat foods!

Posted by: Steg (dos iz nit der šteg) | Sep 12, 2006 3:27:25 PM

One little piggy, two little piggies, three little piggies dear
Four little piggies, five little piggies
Yes, they're all here!

Posted by: Yaron | Sep 12, 2006 4:37:43 PM

My kids make faces themselves with their salami slices (the once in a while treat if they don't want chicken). Why do you think your son would be scared? He'd probably love it!

Posted by: westbankmama | Sep 12, 2006 5:12:56 PM

Heck I remember when I was a kid (I can't say before television, but I can say before home computers, even before Atari 2600...) my brother and I used to take salami or bologna and bite out pieces to make faces. Either that or we'd use ketchup and/or mustard to draw on faces. Mom would just roll her eyes. This is pretty creative. Sort of like the pillsbery (sp?) cookie dough that comes with Halloween or Xmas images embedded in them.

Posted by: Nighthawk700 | Sep 12, 2006 5:18:50 PM

Ok, today you inspired my own post about scary meat.

Posted by: Jack | Sep 12, 2006 5:59:52 PM

That lunch meat is crazy scary! But I used to eat that stuff when I was a kid and now I won't touch it, so maybe he'll grow out of it?

Posted by: Essie | Sep 12, 2006 6:50:04 PM

Lunch meat is no long scary for me because I buy organic. No nitrates. You have to eat it quickly (in a few days) since there are no preservatives, but it is fabulous!

Posted by: Stacey | Sep 12, 2006 7:42:35 PM

I think you have the wrong tack on this. Have you ever considered that the same things that preserve lunch meat can also preseve you. I have eaten lots of lunch meat in my day. I was born in 1951 and I don't look or feel a day over 90!
(That was a feeble attempt at humor for those who tend to be very literal.)

Posted by: ShrinkWrapped | Sep 12, 2006 7:44:16 PM

This is just WEIRD. I mean, do people really BUY this kind of stuff? Then again, it would probably make a great gag gift! ; )

Posted by: Irina | Sep 12, 2006 8:35:13 PM

I know I'm gagging just looking at it!

Posted by: Shifra | Sep 12, 2006 11:24:25 PM

Methinks the inventors of that luncheon meat do not take the noble pig seriously enough.

Good quality meat deserves a better treatment.

They need to be clubbed over the head with a large lump of spicy Italian dried meat product.

Urrrgh!

Posted by: The Back of the Hill | Sep 13, 2006 1:02:22 AM

i think that is hysterical...i bet the kid would love it...actually i'd like two slices to wear as earrings for purim lolol...stay safe

Posted by: marallyn | Sep 13, 2006 8:37:24 AM

That picture scared the bejesus out of me! I was already scared off lunch meat for life, but if I wasn't, would have worked on me for sure...

Posted by: mcaryeh | Sep 13, 2006 10:04:38 PM

I just spit up in my mouth.

Posted by: Minor Fast Days | Sep 14, 2006 5:55:14 AM

I love salami and pepperoni. I don't mind bologna. But if I saw that in my fridge I'd toss it out! Yeesh!

Posted by: benning | Sep 15, 2006 1:03:21 AM

I can totally see that being sold at every Walmart across the country.

If you do find a kosher version of that, then you should go ahead and give the pook kid spam or worse, scrapple, god knows it already has a bunch of differnt meat parts mixed together.

Posted by: jaime | Sep 17, 2006 7:40:54 AM

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