Making the call

My work day doesn't offer much in the way of predictability, which is probably a good thing considering I'm an ADD boy who is easily bored with repetitive tasks.  But there are certain rituals I enjoy and look forward to... especially those associated with leaving to go home at the end of the day.

For instance, there's the call home.

Once I'm in the car and heading up the street away from my office, I will usually phone home to let whoever answers know that I am on my way. 

The reason I wait until I'm well away from the office instead of calling as I'm turning off my computer is that it is not at all unusual to be waylaid in the parking lot by someone trying to organize a pick-up meeting with anyone foolish enough to still be on the premises, and be dragged back into the office for an hour or two of mind-numbing, fruitless group discussion that could certainly have waited until morning. 

Soooo, instead I play it safe and wait until I am well clear of the employment zone before actually making the call home.

The call itself can last anywhere from 15 seconds to 10 minutes or more... depending on who answers.

If Zahava answers, she is usually all business. She'll ask if I have any preference for dinner and then hurry off the phone to referee the kids before they destroy the house or kill one another.

However, if either Ariella or Gilad answer the phone there is an entirely different protocol. 

I get the sense that the big kids feel they aren't getting to spend enough time with me (a fair assessment)... so they use some extremely effective tactics to try to keep me on the phone as long as possible. 

Ariella is the extrovert and is always in transmit mode.  If I let her, she will accept the burden of the entire conversation upon herself and talk non-stop for the entire trip from Beer Sheva to Efrat:

Ariella: Hello?
Me: Hi sweetie pie, how are you?
A: HI ABBA!!!! (Abba is Hebrew for father)
M: How are you?
A: [ignoring my question] When are you going to be home?
M: Oh, I don't know... in about 45 minutes.
A: [giving no indication that she has even heard my response]  When you get home I want to show you a bracelet I made today and tell you about the pe'ula (activity) we are planning for Ezra (her youth group), oh, and I brushed Jordan a little while ago so now there is dog hair everywhere, and I... and then... and... and... and... and...
M: [trying to interrupt her monologue] Um, Ari, did you have a good day today?
A: ...and then I... and then... and... and... and.......
M: Ari, do you even have the phone near your ear or are you just talking into the handset like it's a microphone?
A: ... and... and... and... and........
M: [driving along and enjoying listening to her talk]

Gilad, on the other hand, requires a bit more feedback if he is the one who answers the phone.  He is somewhat more reserved than his sister, and he will usually allow me to get away with a lot of games and teasing just to keep the lines of communication open:

Gilad: Hello?
Me: Hi yummy boy! How are you?
G: OK.  How was your day?
M: Fine, I guess.
[Pause]
G: Where are you?
M: In the car.
G: Where in the car?
M: In the diver's seat.
G: No, I mean where are you right now?
M: I just told you.
G: Abba... I mean where are you on the road right now?
M: Oh, sorry... I'm on the right side... that's OK, isn't it?
G: [feigning exasperation] ABBAH!!!  How soon will you be home?
M: Oh, OK! Is that what you meant?  I'll be home pretty soon.
G: How soon?
M: Oh, I dunno... maybe 45 minutes.
G:  OK............... So where are you right now?
M: I'm in the driver's seat! 
[repeat as necessary]

Occasionally if I'm feeling a bit evil I will try to subject Zahava to the Gilad treatment ("Where am I?"...  "I'm in the car"...), but she usually puts a quick end to that with a ladylike "Bite me!" (to the endless amusement of any hitchhikers that happen to be in the car).

But whether she realizes it or not, if she isn't falling into my Gilad script/trap, Zahava often unwittingly turns the tables on me and gives me the Ariella treatment ("So then I... and then... and then... and... and..."). 

Genetics is a funny thing that way.

Anyhow... regardless of who answers the phone when I make the call to tell them I'm on my way home, I know I can sit back and enjoy as the voices of the people I love wash over me.

I'll be home soon.