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Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Conspiracy theory day at treppenwitz

Does anyone else find the timing a bit too convenient that less than two weeks after breaking from the traditional impartiality of the presidency and openly criticizing the disengagement (and by association, its architects), several woman have magically stepped forward to accuse President Katzav of sexual harassment.  Even more telling is that almost immediately, several MKs began calling for him to step down "for the good of the office and the country".

Puleeze! 

In a country where 95% of the men aren't even aware that 'harass' is one word, a squeaky-clean president with a record of comporting himself with all the dignity appropriate to his office is suddenly being asked to step down before even the smallest shred of evidence is presented? 

No, I don't smell a rat, do you?

In other conspiracy-related news, an alert treppenwitz reader with an inquiring mind left the following cryptic comment on my double standard post which bears closer examination:

"Is Mohammed Deif dead or not?"

For the benefit of readers for whom this name doesn't ring a bell, Wikipedia provides the following helpful background info:

"Mohammed Deif is [ed. was] a commander of the Izz ad-Din al-Qassam Brigades, the military wing of Hamas. He gained that position after the assassination of Salah Shahade in July, 2002. Israel suspects him of being a bombmaker and holds him personally responsible for the deaths of dozens of civilians in suicide bombings since 1996. He is considered a designer of the Qassam rocket together with Nidal Fat'hi Rabah Farahat and Adnan al-Ghoul. He had been under Palestinian custody from May 2000 until April 2001 when he was released. Deif was the person considered the top of Israel's most wanted list for several years.

Despite initial reports of his death in an Israeli air strike on September 27, 2002, an Israeli official confirmed that he survived the attack.  He has survived five other Israeli assassination attempts, which caused him serious handicaps."

This last sentence actually made me giggle because apparently each time he has had a close brush with Israeli attempts to off him, he ends up losing another body part or function.  Picture the Black knight in 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' and you get the idea ("It's only a flesh wound!").

Anyway, word on the street is that as recently as this past February Mr. Deif grew frustrated with the relative restraint shown by the local Palestinian militias and joined up with the Al Qaeda chapter that had sprung up in the fertile soil of Israeli-free Gaza.

I've done some serious checking and have not found conclusive proof that he is dead or alive (although I'm fairly certain it is one or the other).  But the following link purports to show him (or some sources say it is fellow expired Al Qaeda leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi) enjoying the first of his 72 virgins in heaven.  You be the judge:

                View Photo
   OFFENSIVE IMAGE WARNING!
NOT WORK (OR MEALTIME) SAFE!!!

Update:  It now seems that Mohammed Deif has been sighted under a house (rather than under a zoftig virgin, as was previously reported), after an Israeli air-strike in Gaza City. 

Reports state that he has lost his liver, spleen, right arm, left leg, lower jaw, both kidneys and half his pelvis... but has sworn to continue fighting the 'Zionist Enemy', reportedly saying "Oh! Had enough, eh? Come back and take what's coming to you, you yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!".

You have to admire that kind of scrappy determination.

220_62

Posted by David Bogner on July 12, 2006 | Permalink

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Eeew. Good thing it's 3AM and I'm too out of it to get completely nauseated...

Posted by: Ezzie | Jul 12, 2006 10:11:13 AM

When I clicked on the picture, I laughed so hard I blew bubbles into my glass of red wine. Bad timing. Bad picture ;)

Posted by: Seattle | Jul 12, 2006 11:27:19 AM

Thanks for the laugh. It's always good to read a combination of the Wizard of Oz and Monty Python.

May Deif continue to be severely handicapped or enjoying his rewards as pictured.

Posted by: seawitch | Jul 12, 2006 2:44:54 PM

Oh no!! The poor darling man, is this how he lost his liver and kidneys then? You have to admire someone who has no kidneys or liver and still breathes, never mind the fighting The Zionist Pig bit.

Now, remember all the grief you were given over one rather normal leg? *Pulls up a comfy chair, grabs a coke, sits down and waits for show to start*

Posted by: Lioness | Jul 12, 2006 3:17:19 PM

[Oh and the "flesh wound" is one of very favourite ones!]

Posted by: Lioness | Jul 12, 2006 3:19:09 PM

Go leat leat man, one minute HE is rubbing Miss Thang and it’s all smelly, next minute we’re in Gaza and just when I’m expecting to see some nauseating orgrish.com photo BAM! Boney and BBWlaud, getting it on…ahem! Getting it all. :)

Posted by: pk | Jul 12, 2006 3:30:38 PM

"men aren't even aware that 'harass' is one word"

Ok, a lot of this entry is really funny, but that cracked me up.

Posted by: Tanya | Jul 12, 2006 5:08:25 PM

LOL! My eyes, oh my poor eyes!

Posted by: Irina | Jul 13, 2006 5:50:33 AM

That is PRICELESS! It's 10:13pm here so I'm not in any danger of losing my dinner. I was SO not expecting that!

Buaahahaahaahaa!

Posted by: Tracey | Jul 13, 2006 8:13:46 AM

Perhaps, Deif also lost his little green hat? And, no matter what, he can now ROLL OUT OF BED. He's lighter to carry. And, in a dress no one will notice what's under the tablecloth. And, what's not.

Meanwhile, ya need a naming contest for the future of gaza. Which in all probably now is GA and ZA. A 25-mile ong slip and slide.

Plus, in lebanon, they now have an array of arrows, they were hoping would point the IDF towards syria. These arrows, and a sign saying GAZOO could be the start of a tourist attraction, ya know?

And, Deif would have a job outside the tent. Just like it used to be set up by Barnum and Bailey. Yes. It did cost 10-cents to see the egress. But that was in those days. Now, I think you could get a dollar. Deif. Dead or alive. You choose. There are plenty of parts left over.

Posted by: Carol_Herman | Jul 17, 2006 9:11:20 PM

Oh, about that photograph. No wonder she's still a virgin. Ya gotta wonder if martyrs read the small print. And, if not, if they could add special extra-sized penile implants. Nothing else works! Even if you took off that woman's underpants. Poor guy underneath, though. Too bad he fought her for the pillow. (Oh. He has two legs. So we know it's not Deif.)

Posted by: Carol_Herman | Jul 17, 2006 9:13:47 PM

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