Sunday Times

One of the few things I miss about our former life in the 'burbs of Connecticut is the Sunday New York Times. 

Despite its name, the Sunday Times would actually show up on Saturday morning, giving us the entire weekend to fight over the various sections and wade through our favorite features.  Even when the Times' politics would piss me off, I still loved it for its comforting heft... its smell of affluence... its smug exclusiveness.

Therefore, as an homage to the 'Gray Lady', I've decided to provide a treppenwitz Sunday wrap-up.

[Note: It's worth mentioning that I regularly break nearly every rule set forth in the 'New York Times Manual of Style and Usage')]

Anyhoo... here you go:

Metro Section:  This past Friday night I was asked to address an intimate mob of people at my synagogue.  Here it is two days later and the reason they asked me to speak (as opposed to, say, anyone else on the planet), still eludes me.  Suffice it to say I dislike public speaking in English to the point that I refused to even offer public remarks at my own wedding! 

Friday night I spoke for about 15 - 20 minutes in Hebrew (a language over which I hold only the most tenuous command), on a topic that even the small children in attendance grasp better than I. 

The extent to which one bombs at such events can best be measured by the number of days later one is still getting 'pity pats' on the back from people who witnessed the spectacle.  I got two such 'pity pats' on my way to fetch the newspaper this morning.

Society Page: His Aussiness, Dave of Israellycool and his wife have welcomed a new member to the tribe (actually, he won't officially be given membership in the tribe until Thursday), a little boy weighing 4.050 kilo/8.9 pounds (keneynahora, tfu tfu tfu)!    Go on over and wish him Mazal Tov!

Health & Fitness:  There is a longstanding tradition in some Israeli neighborhoods of holding Saturday evening services under the streetlamps to spare the menfolk the trouble of walking 'all the way' back to synagogue.  In an effort to raise bone-laziness to new heights, last night the usual crowd of my neighbors gathered less than 200 meters from the synagogue to usher out the sabbath queen. 

The thing that made this shameless display of sloth noteworthy was the presence last night of a familiar face that has been missing for many months from our weekly gathering:

Elroi Refa'el. 

Apparently Elroi was home from the rehab facility for shabbat and a few soldiers from his unit had joined him at his parents house for the weekend.   It was wonderful to see his friends wheel him out to the parking lot in his wheelchair and to see him joking and shaking hands with everyone like old times. 

He has regained a little bit of movement on his left side... but it is still premature to say that he has any meaningful 'use' of his left arm or leg.  However, looking at how far he has come, and the determination on his handsome face, tells me that the end of this story has yet to be written.  Please keep Elroi Refa'el ben Galia Glynis in your thoughts and prayers for a full recovery.

Classified:  A few of you have continued to look for fresh ads to click over on the lower right hand side of the page.  I would just remind you that each advertiser you visit makes it possible to put cake, cookies and drinks in the chilly hands of the young men and women who have the thankless task of manning the outposts and roadblocks throughout the Judaen hills.  Keep up the good work!

On Language:  I don't know how I managed never to have heard this word before, but until recently I had been blissfully unaware of the word 'tzimmer'.   But as usually happens, now that I've heard it once, it seems that nearly everyone I know is sprinkling their conversations with it.

Unlike William Safire, who would have done exhaustive research on the etymology of the word and then provided a detailed definition and usage guide, I can only offer my vague contextual understanding of the word 'tzimmer':

The word 'tzimmer' seems to encompass a range of vacation accommodations from stand-alone bungalows to full-service bed-and-breakfasts.  Typical usage:  "We had wanted to go camping up north for the weekend but it rained so we stayed in a 'tzimmer'''.  The origin of the word sounds to my untrained ear to be Yiddish... but that is the wildest of guesses and should perhaps be taken with the usual grain of salt.

Religion:  I try not to discuss religion or politics here too often in deference to the diverse readership that treppenwitz is privileged to enjoy.  But a passage in this past Shabbat's reading always makes me marvel that anyone can deny the scripture's prophecy:

"You shall call him Ishmael... he shall be a wild ass of a man; his hand against everyone and everyone's hand against him."

Genesis 12:11

Hmmm... Someone remind me again... who considers themselves to be the descendants of Ishmael?  Oh yeah, now I remember... that would be our cousins; 'The religion of peace'. 

Opinion:  Most of the time the moonbats in the tinfoil hat brigade reality-challenged members of treppenwitz's readership confine their manifestos thoughtful inquiries to emails that you, dear reader, never get to see.  But once in a while an 'interesting' comment is left and you all get to glimpse the glamour pageant known as being a blogger/journaler. 

This past week treppenwitz received another such communique from the edge insightful comment which has made me feel compelled to make the following clarifications:

a)  I am not now , nor have I ever been, a Rabbi (although I've played one on television).

b) I am not the elected representative of all religious Jews.  In fact many self-respecting religious people actively deny any affiliation with me or my sinful sometimes irreverent journal.

c)  My brand of humor is best described as 'an acquired taste'.  If it offends you or you 'don't get it', please don't feel bad.  The problem is clearly with your meds me, not you.

Well, that's pretty much all the news that's fit to print for now... so enjoy the rest of your Sunday!