« A man of few words... | Main |

Three Dog FortNight


Sunday, May 01, 2005

Ask not for whom the bell tolls…

Holy jumpin’ jeebus it’s good to be back!!! Computer habit? What computer habit??! :-)

Passover was wonderful... thanks to everyone who sent wishes.  My super wife spent a good part of last night putting away the holiday dishes and switching the kitchen back to the year-‘round stuff.   

Every year I am amazed at the mountain of work that goes into this holiday!  And every year Zahava reminds me that it was obviously a man who thought up the details of Passover. Her hypothesis hinges on the fact that if women had had any input whatsoever, instead of one week each year, Passover would be a whole month every four years! Then, she posits, it would already be worthwhile to completely switch over the house to an entirely new set of dishes and utensils! But one week?… clearly a man’s idea!

By the way…if you’ve never done the whole Passover preparation/switch-over/switch-back thing (or witnessed it being done), picture building the pyramids at Giza in the hot Egytian sun… and then add in some real work!

Where was I during all this preparation?

Well, during the couple of days before the holiday, like most Jewish men, I was doing the ‘supermarket shuttle’. This is a 48-hour period of pretty much non-stop trips back-and-forth to the store. It’s not that my wife isn’t organized… she is amazingly organized, with lists of everything she needs. But for some reason each time I returned from the store there were always "just a few more things."

On one of my trips I finally noticed a bunch of husbands hunkered down in the ice cream shop next door to the supermarket. When I went in they were all sitting around eating ice cream and glancing nervously at cell phones out on the tables in front of them. The consensus seemed to be that if they were going to be sent out again anyway, the longer the interval between stops at home, the fewer trips to the store they would have to make.

You can’t argue with that kind of logic… especially if triple fudge and coffee ice cream is involved in the argument!

As I sat talking to a few friends there in the ice cream parlor, occasionally a cell phone would ring… a hush would fall over the store… a crumpled shopping list would be taken out and carefully amended… and a few serious ‘yes dears’ would be offered. When the call ended conversation would spring up again, and everyone would look nervously at their cell phones wondering if theirs would be next to jangle to life.

As we sat in our air-conditioned bunker licking ice cream cones… the bell tolled for each of us… sometimes more than once.

Anyway… I have lots of stuff to share so this should be a fun week.

Stay Tuned!


Posted by David Bogner on May 1, 2005 | Permalink


TrackBack URL for this entry:

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Ask not for whom the bell tolls…:


Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

The consensus seemed to be that if they were going to be sent out again anyway, the longer the interval between stops at home, the fewer trips to the store they would have to make.

Men after my own heart. I think that this is an instinctive move we make to protect ourselves from threats we encounter doing the hunting/gathering thing. ;)

Posted by: Jack | May 1, 2005 10:27:27 AM

I don't understand. How much stuff could you *possibly* need to buy?
All I have to compare to is the Icelandic Christmas, and we know exactly what is needed, which is always the same, not too complex.

Posted by: Maria | May 1, 2005 12:52:05 PM

Welcome back. Looking forward to the stories.

Posted by: Kay | May 1, 2005 1:47:36 PM

welcome back... what 'blogread' habit? Man, I missed having a daily Treppenwitz to read! ;)

Here's hoping that pictures of everyone will be included in the upcoming stories (hint hint hint!)

Posted by: val | May 1, 2005 3:53:44 PM

Welcome back! That image of all the husbands in the ice cream parlor is great - that is a great approach. And it reminds me of how long it took me to master the art of a reassuring 'yes dear'...

Posted by: Steve Bogner | May 1, 2005 4:07:12 PM

I've often mentioned that I prefer Pesach to Sukkot. On Pesach we need to prepare and drive ourselves crazy in the weeks before. But once it comes, there's nothing left to worry about. You don't have any more chametz in the house, you can't mess anything up.

But on Sukkot, while there might be less preparation, there are too many things to worry about on the holiday itself - is the sukkah ok, is the lulav kosher, etc etc.

Posted by: Dave | May 1, 2005 4:29:11 PM

Jack... Nothing too deep here. Most of us were just being bone-lazy. I suppose it is only fair since we do most of the building and heavy lifting on Sukkot, right?

Maria... Trust me when I say the whole kitchen needs to be redone. The counters are covered (usually with paper or foil), the dishes (both meat and dairy) are replaced with ones used only for Passover, same goes for the pots, pans and serving utensils. Then there is the issue of the actual food. anything with leavening in it has to go (or at least be stored in an out-of-the-way place to be sold for the duration of the holiday). All new everything is bought. Think of a well stocked kitchen... spices, basic ingredients, condiments... EVERYTHING. Then there are the actual meals that have to be planned and prepared. All of this stuff has to be though of before the holiday begins! There are a million details that have to be thought of and I can't really blame my lovely wife that not everything makes it onto the first list. Of course, at the end of the holiday all the passover dishes, pots & pans, and utensils have to be put away until next year... and the year 'round stuff brought back out of hiding. Yeah, I'm a little ashamed that I joined the other husbands in the ice cream parlor... but it was GOOOOD ice cream! :-)

Kay... Thanks. I'd love to say we threw a few prawns on the 'barbie' (a specialty where you come from, no?), but kosher laws keep us from eating prawns at any time. Suffice it to say that anything that could legally be cooked on the grill was cooked on the grill! :-)

Val... Are you sure??? I'm just a so-so writer... but a disaster of a photographer! I'll try to post some new pics soon. Just as an aside, I am creeping up on the outer limits of my storage allotment so I may have to take down some of the older archives of the kids. If you want to download any to your computer... now is the time.

Steve... The trick to a well-delivered 'yes dear' is to not to sound too smarmy. If you sound like Eddy Haskell you've gone too far. If you sound like Lurch, then you haven't put enough feeling into it. I find that it helps to have a mental picture of Mike Brady when I deliver the line.

Dave... I like both equally well, but since my older son was born during Sukkot, that one has a special place in my heart.

Posted by: David | May 1, 2005 5:33:50 PM

Ummmm, honey?! LOVE the how-to deliver a good 'yes dear' seminar.... It was VERY educational! :-)

Oh-and-by-the-way: another good trick to having it NOT sound too smarmy is to NOT HAVE ICE CREAM DRIPPING OFF YOUR CHIN WHEN YOU SAY IT!

To quote you: "I'm not saying... I'm just saying!"

Oh, in case the rest of you were wondering... The kids and I checked out the new ice cream parlor today! It IS GOOD! :-) (Guess I can't be too surprised it drew such a crowd!)

Posted by: zahava | May 1, 2005 6:07:15 PM

Baruch Habah... "Welcome Back, Bogner" -- just an updated version of the seventies "Welcome Back, Kotter" sitcom. In this case, you're the wisecracking "teach", we're the class of needy students -- I can already figure out who's Vinny Barbarino and who's Horshak...

In any case, I'm looking forward to class...!

Posted by: Pearl | May 2, 2005 6:34:39 AM

[slurrrp] "Yesh honey. More eggsh. OK. What? Just having shome eyesh cream with the guysh."

It's nice to have you back, David. Between missing bread and missing blogs for a week, I was a wreck.

Posted by: Doctor Bean | May 2, 2005 7:57:46 AM

[note to self: don't write about husband trade secrets where wife might read about them!]

Pearl... The fact that you used a WBK reference... and that I immediately understood it is a sad statement about our ages. :-)

Doctor Bean... It's good to be back.

Posted by: David | May 2, 2005 10:27:21 AM

Loved the description of all the husbands at the ice cream parlor :) Pesach was great, a lot of work, but so nice to be with family.

Posted by: Sara | May 2, 2005 5:02:36 PM

yes yes, Sara is 110% right, i was laughing as hard as i could with my roommate behind me sleeping while reading that. good to have you back Mr B.

Posted by: Tonny | May 3, 2005 6:55:00 AM

Sara... Glad to hear your holiday was enjoyable! Family is really what it's all about (IMHO).

Tonny... Don't thank me, I'm a giver. :-)

Posted by: David | May 3, 2005 9:10:31 AM

Post a comment

If you have a TypeKey or TypePad account, please Sign In