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Friday, April 01, 2005

Photo Friday (vol. XXI) [four-eyes edition]

What can I say... It's been a long week (at least for those of us still on the green side of the grass).

Almost immediately after I posted my last entry saying I might take a few days off in order to regroup, I received an e-mail from someone telling me that a mutual friend had had a heart attack and was in the hospital.   You can imagine how rationally I digested that news!  Let's just say I had a few, um, interrogative moments alone with my maker.

So far the news on this latest victim seems to be cautiously optimistic, but just now it seems to me that the most pressing danger in the world is not radical Islam, the unchecked spread of disease in the third world or land mines.  No, the biggest danger seems to be counting me among one's friends.

Obviously I'm [mostly] joking about this... but it does seem that the common denominator for much of the recent tragedy in the world... is me.

Moving on...

Gilad and I now share something more than a collection of genetic material:  We now both wear glasses.

I have wanted glasses all my life.  I was always  incredibly jealous of the kids in school who had neat frames and cases and all the paraphernalia that comes with being a glasses-wearer.  On top of that, I always felt that people who wore glasses just looked, y'know... smarter.

Unfortunately (totally tongue-in-cheek here) I have always had perfect vision.

Gilad, on the other hand, has been complaining recently that he was getting headaches in class and while reading.  Zahava and I were pretty sure he had inherited my glasses-envy, but we didn't want to play around with something as important as vision... so we set up an appointment for him with the local ophthalmologist.

I figured, while we were there, I could also get an eye exam... just to make sure everything was 20/20 with me.  It had been a few years since my last exam, so this was really more about being sensible than my long-standing desire for glasses.  Really.

Well, the jury came back with a guilty verdict on both of us.   Gilad needed mild glasses for everyday classroom work and reading... and I have officially reached the age where I need a mild reading prescription for making out the fine print. 

It's crazy that books, magazines and even newspapers are all printed entirely in fine print these days!  When did that happen?

So, without further do... here is a picture (yes, only one picture today... I'll make it up to you next week) of father and son wearing our spectacular new specs.  His are from the eye-doctor... mine are from the 'senior rack' at CVS.
Img_2504_1

OK, I'll admit it...  now that I have them glasses are way less cool than I thought they'd be.  However, I can now do that neat trick that I've always wanted to try whenever I want to make a point:

I look earnestly at the person (or persons) with whom I'm speaking... remove my glasses in one quick motion... point one of the bows directly at the addressee(s)... and say. "What if...".

How cool is that?!

Shabbat Shalom!
221_2_7

Posted by David Bogner on April 1, 2005 | Permalink

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you bought your glasses in the states? Cuz there aint no CVS in Israel. Either the store or plain ol' convenience, value, service (CVS). Either way, feel better.

Posted by: anon | Apr 1, 2005 2:13:31 PM

Dave, you both look great in the specs! I, too, have always wanted glasses (it's truly amazing how similar we were thinking growing up and have only realized this as adults!) and am really thrilled that I may soon have to wear mine all the time, as now even distance is getting fuzzy! YAY! (i know, i know... strange!)
Shabbat Sholom!
P.S. I missed Treppenwitz posts this week! Welcome back!

Posted by: val | Apr 1, 2005 3:39:17 PM

What a handsome pair you are!

There's another fun gesture to do with glasses, though it's the opposite effect of the very serious "what if?" gesture. This is the mock-flirting or crazy greetings gesture that simulates rapid raising and lowering of eyebrows. You put your index fingers behind each ear so that they're touching the bows, and you press down on the bows at the same time so that your glasses lift a little off your nose, and then you release and press, release and press a few times. It's universally understood to mean "Heyyyy there! I've come unhinged!" Try it the next time someone is driving too close to you listening to your iPod.

It's nice to have you posting. Shabbat shalom.

Posted by: Doctor Bean | Apr 1, 2005 4:34:02 PM

Um, not that cool.

Posted by: Jordan Hirsch | Apr 1, 2005 4:48:23 PM

Welcome back!
Just a tip: don't put your glasses next to you on the car seat, you can be sure you'll have a passenger within a short time who will sit down on them...
Shabbat shalom.

Posted by: Jany | Apr 1, 2005 5:25:42 PM

Anan... Yes, I bought them while I was in the US... I toyed with the idea of getting a set made up, but when I saw that even nerdy frames were, like, $200, I decided to go the drug store route.

Val... The difference is that even after you got yours you liked wearing glasses. I'm already getting annoyed by them.

Doctor Bean... The guy who commented after you has a really endearing habit of pushing his glasses up onto the bridge of his nose with his middle finger. One never knows if he is doing it to adjust his glasses or as a commentary on something you've just said. After almost 20 years of knowing him I still don't know which it is.

Jordan... Dude, the kid's like 9 years old! Nice going! If he reads what your wrote about him he is going to be totally crushed!!! Remind me to send you the therapist bills.

Jany... That's how I usually kill my sunglasses. I've managed to destroy several pairs of Raybans that way. Wouldn't you know it that the cheap pair of knock-offs that I've had for over 5 years don't have a scratch on them! I can't win!

Posted by: David | Apr 1, 2005 5:26:38 PM

If memory serves, it was actually the guy between Dr. Bean and Jany who busted the sunglasses I bought you our first trip out to Martha's Vineyard! You'd left em on the seat and when Jordan tremped back from the gig with you...... :-(

Posted by: zahava | Apr 1, 2005 5:50:00 PM

He's back!! :)

How cool is that?!

Hm. People who do this always point with nibbled-on bows. Of course you wouldn't ;) A pipe would be so much more sophisticated looking.

Maybe that's an issue worth elaborating....

Posted by: mademoiselle a. | Apr 1, 2005 7:16:44 PM

The glasses look nice, but those hats, oy! You need a new team. ;) I wore glasses for 20 years and then finally broke down and had lasik done 4 years ago.

It is one of the best things I have ever done.

Posted by: Jack | Apr 1, 2005 7:35:05 PM

Have just written along comment which disappeared when I tried to preview it? LAMAH ??!!

Posted by: savta yaffa | Apr 1, 2005 7:52:13 PM

what handsome lads.

Posted by: lisa | Apr 1, 2005 8:20:28 PM

Dave,
I still like my glasses, yes, but they do annoy me, as well. The taking them off for hanging out and then having to put them on to read pretty much ANYTHING that isn't a billboard! That's why I'm looking forward to wearing them all the time - - no more carrying them with me - they'll just be on my nose where they belong! in the meantime, i can't see bupkus clearly without them and that IS annoying.

Posted by: val | Apr 1, 2005 10:43:15 PM

"How cool is that?"

IT'S AWESOME! I would LOVE to do that! but i dont want glasses. would it work with sunglasses...?

y'all look so cute!

say hi to the mishpacha for us!!

Tonny

Posted by: Tonny | Apr 1, 2005 11:08:49 PM

Zahava... Now, now... I'm sure I've broken something of Jordan's at some point in our friendship... :-)

mademoiselle a. ... I don't chew on my bows (at least not yet), but I see how that could be off-putting. As to a pipe, I love the smell of a pipe, but I hate the whole idea of smoking... so gesturing with a pipe would make me look like a total poseur. Anyway, thanks for the warm welcome back.

Jack... We can debate politics or religion, but leave my Red Socks alone!

Safta Yaffa... I'm so sorry, I have no idea what could have happened. I'll assume it was a very nice comment though.

Weese... I'm trying to remember the last time someone EXACTLY MY AGE called me a 'lad'. :-) Thanks.

Val... You amaze me with your logic. Something that is annoying to wear part of the time will suddenly become a pleasure when you have to wear it all the time? Oy!

Tonny... Nope, just glasses. Go sit too close to the TV and watch with the lights off... according to my mother that should do the trick. :-)

Posted by: David | Apr 2, 2005 8:46:29 PM

We vote for the hats!!!! Go Red Sox! :)
Nice glasses too...

Posted by: sarahb | Apr 2, 2005 10:44:21 PM

Jack... We can debate politics or religion, but leave my Red Socks alone!

Ok, leaving the Sox alone is the charitable thing to do because we won't see another championship in our lifetime. ;)

Posted by: Jack | Apr 3, 2005 10:12:24 AM

Sarahb... See that people? that is how you suck up to the site owner! Nicely done, Sarah! :-)

Jack... If you keep dissing my 'Sox', I can assure you that it won't be in your lifetime! ;-)

Posted by: David | Apr 3, 2005 4:50:24 PM

Hey now. I have it on good authority that the curse was only partially lifted and now the Bambino is really angry. If you'd like I can show you the Gematria behind it.

Posted by: Jack | Apr 3, 2005 8:29:48 PM

What a great picture.
Jack, I envy you that you had the courage to do the laser surgery. I considered it but I'm too chicken. Whenever I try to read about the procedure I always feel that I'm going to faint when I get to the part about cutting out the outer flap and lifting it up. I mean, the thing I fear most is that you can't close your eyes! You have to watch the whole time! oy...

Posted by: Naomi | Apr 4, 2005 8:02:54 AM

Jack... I'll pass on the gematria, but if you want to place a friendly wager based on your theory (say, a package of Jeff's Sausages against a kilo of rugalach from the Marzipan bakery in Jerusalem), I'd be happy to take that bet.

Naomi... based on your e-mail address I'm assuming your sporting interests don't involve baseball. I'll try to have some intelligent commentary here when 'The Ashes' are in the news.

Posted by: David | Apr 4, 2005 8:41:34 AM

Jack, I envy you that you had the courage to do the laser surgery. I considered it but I'm too chicken. Whenever I try to read about the procedure I always feel that I'm going to faint when I get to the part about cutting out the outer flap and lifting it up. I mean, the thing I fear most is that you can't close your eyes! You have to watch the whole time! oy...

Hi Naomi,

Yep, I watched the whole thing. It wasn't nearly as disturbing as watching the Red Sox. ;)

but if you want to place a friendly wager based on your theory (say, a package of Jeff's Sausages against a kilo of rugalach from the Marzipan bakery in Jerusalem), I'd be happy to take that bet.

Let's define this a little and we'll see what we can do. What terms would you like?

Posted by: Jack | Apr 5, 2005 12:53:50 AM

I get my glasses at the dollar store - $1/each. What a deal. I have at least 8 pair scattered around the house, clinic, office, etc. all the time. Strong ones for patients with skin diseases (I'm an NP), weaker ones for other uses. Do ya'll have dollar stores over there?
David, I enjoy your site very much. Thank you,
CK

Posted by: Charles Kemp | Apr 7, 2005 4:39:58 AM

Jack... You pick a team and I pick a team. Which ever of our teams finishes the regular season with a better record wins the bet. A statistical tie means we both pay the bet.

Charles... Thanks for the compliment. I only picked up two pairs of the glasses (one for work and one for home), but with the way I tend to lose things I will probably adopt your methodology. All the best.

Posted by: David | Apr 7, 2005 8:36:10 AM

Jack... You pick a team and I pick a team. Which ever of our teams finishes the regular season with a better record wins the bet. A statistical tie means we both pay the bet.

I just saw this, it works for me. I'll be a good Californian & pick the Angels.

Posted by: Jack | Apr 8, 2005 8:14:25 AM

Done. Now let me surf over to Jeff's web site and start picking out my order! :-)

Posted by: David | Apr 8, 2005 8:19:13 AM

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