A tale of four Davids

This past June I posted a journal entry entitled 'Messy' in which I unwittingly described two Davids who knew of one another (but had never met) helping to bury a third David.

For those who didn’t read that post, it was about the funeral of my friend Pesach’s brother, David Daniel Wolicki (z"l) which took place in the Samarian town of Karnei Shomron on a sunny afternoon in early June. The deceased, a husband and father, was taken from this life at the impossibly young age of 40 by a random bolt of lightning, known in medical circles as a cerebral hemorrhage.

At the time I went through a silent struggle over how G-d could allow this kind of thing to happen. I remember hugging David’s brother and staring across the room at David’s young widow and her uncomprehending children … all the while furious at G-d for causing such a tragedy, and terrified that the still form laying there wrapped in funeral shrouds could just as easily have been me.

I found out about the third David because one of the comments I received on that particular post came from David of Israellycool. As I mentioned earlier, though we had never met, we were both among the crowd of people who escorted my friend’s brother to his grave. At the time it struck me as a ‘small world’ kind of coincidence that two bloggers named David (who read each other’s work regularly) had unknowingly stood next to each other at the funeral of a third David in a small Israeli town far from where we each called home. I’m certain the significance of all three David’s in this story being young fathers was not lost on the two of us who were fortunate enough to return home to our families at the end of that terrible afternoon.

As time passed I came to a shaky understanding with my Maker and managed to get on with my life. The rationalization that made it possible for me to go on was to imagine the events of the world as if they were taking place at a neighbor’s beautiful house.

It might pain me to pass by one day and see a gaping hole where once stood a perfect wall. But it is not my house, and it is not my place to ask if my neighbor has a plan. It may be that He opened the hole in a fit of rage and decided to leave it as a reminder. It may be that He intended to add a room or two to his dwelling or install a picture window. Again, it is His plan and not my place to intrude or inquire. All I could hope for was that one day I would pass His house and understand why He had created such an ugly wound in such a beautiful house.

This morning I met David (Israellycool), and his lovely wife and beautiful children at the Brit (circumcision) of our mutual friend's 8-day-old son. Neither of us was particularly surprised to hear that the baby was given the name David (actually ‘David Daniel’) after the uncle he will never meet.  David and I stated the obvious to each other - that it was much better to meet on happy occasions. 

Funny... two fairly eloquent people reduced by emotion to mumbling well-worn platitudes!

The father of the newly named baby and I hugged and spoke in the hoarse whispers that men use when tears threaten. I told him that all children are special, but it seemed to me that this newly named little boy might possibly begin to repair a terrible hole that had been torn in the world. 

Again, I can only seem to state the obvious. Maybe treppenwitz has rendered me incapable of expressing myself coherently without a keyboard under my fingers. 

I’m still angry at G-d for creating such tragedy in the lives of the people who loved David Daniel Wolicki (z"l) and who needed him to live the long and happy life he certainly deserved. But now that some time has passed and I can discern a plan taking shape from amidst the ruins, I can allow myself to be comforted.  My neighbor's house is not yet whole... but I think I know what He plans to do about the hole.  I hope this new life can begin to comfort others as well.

Life is unpredictable and fragile.  Eight months ago to the day, David and David helped to bury a David. We should have known that before too long another David would come along to help console us all.