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Thursday, January 20, 2005

Lesson Learned... and how!

I need to publicly acknowledge that I was wrong and Mademoiselle a. was right.

There, I said it.

When I posted my journal entry about that cute little girl singing about her, um, aquatic reptilian friend... Mademoiselle a. immediately warned me about the 'googleanche' of searchers who would surely come looking for this addictive song.

Of course, in my response I assured her that I knew what I was doing and basically poo-pooed her warning.

Heh heh... funny how truly unappetizing one's own words can be when the time comes to eat them.

It is now one week since I unwittingly exposed my cozy little journal to the ravages of the searching public, and I soooo wish this would end.

I went from a few hundred 'regulars' who came most days to read the stuff I had posted, to over 2500 hits a day!  A small handful of you often post comments (what I've come to think of as my 'round table'), and I'd even started to recognize many other readers just based on their location.  But now, all I see on my statistics page is an endless list of faceless referrals from search engines... all looking for Schna...er, you know who.

My bandwidth allowance is maxed out for all but a couple of hours a day, and my little intimate 'coffee shop' now feels more like a shopping mall.

OK Mademoiselle a., tell me how do I make it stop?


Posted by David Bogner on January 20, 2005 | Permalink


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Change the spelling and the link to avoid the search engines. Like (Shna + ppi). I had the same problem to a lesser extent when I hosted a link to a popular online game solution.

Posted by: velvel | Jan 20, 2005 6:21:04 PM

And to think that I can say that "I knew you when." Just remember us little people as you climb to the top. ;)

Posted by: Jack | Jan 20, 2005 7:22:16 PM

Why make it stop? You may get a few regulars out of it. Anyway, the excitement will die down and people will eventually stop searching for [email protected] the diminutive alligator. Then it'll be back to us dull but friendly treppenwitz addicts.

Hey! Who's that in my chair?

Posted by: Doctor Bean | Jan 20, 2005 7:53:06 PM

Sorry, Doctor Bean, was this your chair? Someone else was sitting in mine. And he's clutching a plush "aquatic reptile" for dear life. Considering the man is easily in his 50's, it's a little creepy.

Congrats on the hits, David. The same thing happened to me (to a lesser extent) when I mentioned having seen the first P*r*s+H*lt*n t*pe at a friend's place. And I still changed the spelling to what you see above (minus the "+"). Imagine if I spelled her name correctly. Yes, Doctor Bean is right, it does die down eventually.

BTW, I experienced a serious treppenwitz moment on Saturday when talking to a man I found attractive. If it hadn't been for you I wouldn't have known what to call it several hours later. So thank you, David and Treppenwitz! The Internets sure are edumacational!

Posted by: Carol | Jan 20, 2005 9:06:39 PM

*polishing shades*

Kayamim shnei chukim ba chaiim:
a] al tishpoch et kol ma sh'ata yodea.

*covertly testing the PMR446*

Posted by: agent m. | Jan 20, 2005 9:21:22 PM

Oh my goodness! Carol! I'm sorry. I didn't recognize you. Please, you sit. I'll wait until the middle aged man with the amphibian fetish leaves.

Um... the guy in the sunglasses speaking Hebrew is making me kinda nervous... Is he here for the guy with the plush [email protected], or are they here together?

Posted by: Doctor Bean | Jan 21, 2005 2:23:25 AM

Anybody know where Abercrombie and Fitch is?

Posted by: Jordan Hirsch | Jan 21, 2005 2:44:14 AM

Not a problem, Doctor Bean. Sorry, I forgot to take off my red wig and trenchcoat.

Hmmm, this Hebrew speaking agent m. has the same e-mail address as Mademoiselle A. Coincidence? I think not. I hope there's no relation to Mr. [email protected] Plush. Else I would be seriously concerned about the possible Mademoiselle A.

Phew. Mr. [email protected] Plush is gone. I'm still a little creeped out that he sat in my chair, but I'll just burn a little sage around it and it'll be fine. Thank you for your kindness, Doctor Bean.

Posted by: Carol | Jan 21, 2005 2:56:18 AM

Aaaaahh! Gotcha! Sorry "agent m.". Hope I didn't blow your cover. [ridiculously exagerated wink]

Carol: Can I borrow the wig sometime?

Posted by: Doctor Bean | Jan 21, 2005 5:10:46 AM

PS: David: I hope you don't mind Carol and me. We're just trying to eliminate that "too much traffic" problem you're having. Give us a few days; we'll have the place evacuated.

Posted by: Doctor Bean | Jan 21, 2005 5:12:40 AM

Sorry, David. All my fault since you found the thing on my site. Now I feel like Typhoid Mary.

Posted by: Gail | Jan 21, 2005 5:30:20 AM

Velvel... That ship sailed... the page has been cached by google.

Jack... this isn't what I was hoping for, I promise you. This is the kind of unwanted popularity that some unfortunate HS girl might get when someone starts a rumor that she fooled around with the whole football team.

Doctor Bean... See my 'HS girl' reference above. I don't want any regulars this way.

Jordan... Great, just great. Not helping.

Gail... I don't blame you... I should have known better. I hope you didn't get slammed like this!
Carol (and Doctor Bean)... I'll wait while you two play musical chairs at the round table. :-)

Agent m. ... for those who don't speak tranliterations, she said "There exist two rules in life:
1. Don't tell everything you know."

Posted by: David | Jan 21, 2005 8:09:35 AM

Jack... this isn't what I was hoping for, I promise you. This is the kind of unwanted popularity that some unfortunate HS girl might get when someone starts a rumor that she fooled around with the whole football team.

There are two ways that high school girl can go, one is towards a negative direction and the other is positive. You are a good guy and I am confident that you will come up with a Schnappi idea.

Posted by: Jack | Jan 21, 2005 9:42:19 AM

Well, not to sound nosy, but one has to leave you guys a hint sometimes...not to freak you out too much. *rolls eyes*

Posted by: agent m. | Jan 21, 2005 12:42:10 PM

The cache gets updated and after a week or so, the [email protected] traffic will disappear.

Posted by: velvel | Jan 21, 2005 6:22:32 PM

Sure, Doctor Bean. Not sure if red will work for you, but just let me know when. Do you have your own trenchcoat? It really sets off the color quite nicely.

Hmmm, the place is already starting to look a little emptier than a day or so ago.

Don't worry, David. I think we're done. For now. Though I make no guarantees if someone plays "Pop Goes the Weasel" again...

Posted by: Carol | Jan 21, 2005 7:13:37 PM

I have been receiving tons of [email protected] hits from google, yahoo and HERE, David! It's pretty amazing how many people are looking it up - mostly from The Netherlands, it seems. Seems as if it's starting to lessen some now.

Reminds me a lot of the [email protected]$e [email protected] P*ll0w. I had even more hits from that one. Totally unexpected.

Posted by: Gail | Jan 21, 2005 9:05:16 PM

Just in case I haven't posted before, I'm not here for the alligator, and I came by way of someone else's j-blog. ;)

I've enjoyed it though, and am sad there was no photo Friday this week.

Posted by: Rowan | Jan 22, 2005 7:56:55 AM

agent m: I have to give you credit. I've used your joke (in English, my Ivrit isn't nearly good enough) a few times since David translated it for us, and it's been uniformly enjoyed. In any language, you know funny!

Posted by: Doctor Bean | Jan 23, 2005 4:46:27 AM

If you want to prevent getting indexed by the search engines there is a simple way to do this. You just copy a text file named robots.txt into the root directory of your domain.

Here's an example of what would be in the file;

# Robots.txt file created by http://www.webtoolcentral.com
# For domain: http://www.akohl.com

# All robots will spider the domain
User-agent: *

# Disallow directory myDirectory: *
Disallow: myDirectory

If you want to make sure you have it right, you can get a robots file composed automatically at http://www.webtoolcentral.com/webmaster/tools/robots_txt_file_generator/.

This way, you can write about whatever you want without having to worry about bandwidth excess from the search engine referees and you'll be protecting your intimate coffee shop from 'googleanche'.

Posted by: Andy | Jan 23, 2005 7:52:43 PM

Thanks, Doc B. -- do you enjoy their standby-questionmark-rewind-replay-questionmark-missedsomething? faces as much as I do?

Posted by: agent m. | Jan 24, 2005 11:43:33 PM

agent m: Yes! Your description really made me giggle. It takes people a good 20 seconds to get it!

Posted by: Doctor Bean | Jan 25, 2005 10:23:03 PM

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