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Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Holy exclamation, Batman!

For those who keep track of such things...so far the last post garnered two 'yikes' and an 'egads' in the comments section. Not bad for one post. Can I get a 'croikey', 'gadzooks' or 'yowza', please? Oh never mind, that's just silly...nobody says 'yowza' anymore (Hi Dad!).

As far as the 'psak' (religious ruling) on using force during daylight goes, Jennifer... the tidbit I mentioned doesn't rule out using force during the day, (One is always required to defend oneself since 'turning the other cheek' is not a Jewish concept), but rather allows the assumption of a physical threat at night even if the person hasn't actually attacked you.

[Warning: This blog is not meant to be a substitute for proper rabbinic/pastoral advice... please consult your community's religious leadership before blowing anyone away!]

With that last though in mind, I wanted to share a funny list (thanks to BrownTown), that seemed to have just the right feel for my present repressed Jewish fantasies of revenge:

The Top 13 Rejected Action Hero Catch Phrases

13. "Let's agree to disagree, punk."

12. "I'll be back. As long as I'm going, do you want anything from the Bath and Body Shop?"

11. "Use the big-ass gun, Luke!"

10. "I'm about to give you one more reason to vote for universal health care!"

9. "I know you are, punk, but what am I?"

8. "You just messed with the wrong motivational speaker, my friend!"

7. "A little song, a little dance, a little can of Whoop-Ass down your pants."

6. "You're going to want to put some ice on that."

5. "Yippie Ki Yay, Mother Superior!"

4. "Where do you want to hurt today?"

3. "Let's mambo with Mr. Pain!"

2. "Do you feel like chicken tonight, punk?"

and the Number 1 Rejected Action Hero Catch Phrase...

1. "Justice? You're soaking in it!"

Posted by David Bogner on June 15, 2004 | Permalink


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:) these are hilarious, dude!

Posted by: no milk | Jun 15, 2004 2:54:31 PM

Thanks! I wish I'd written even one of them. Make sure you give a virtual high five to the author (I provided a link).

Posted by: David | Jun 15, 2004 3:51:04 PM

Yes, these are funny! Make me think of Arnie, actually. "Ecktion, ecktion, ecktion!" [austrian accent]

Posted by: mademoiselle a. | Jun 15, 2004 4:32:25 PM

"A little song, a little dance, a little can of Whoop-Ass down your pants."

I like it. I'm going to be using that in daily conversation.

Posted by: Chuck | Jun 16, 2004 12:31:59 AM

hmmm... I'm thinkin' that a person's gotta take a long look at their life if this is a phrase they think will come in handy on a daily basis! :-)

Posted by: David | Jun 16, 2004 9:24:22 AM

You don't know my wife.

Posted by: Chuck | Jun 16, 2004 7:25:04 PM

Speaking of whom...

You earned *your* gmail invite the moment I read about you going under the house looking for Beth's cat... like I said, "above and beyond the call..."

But I'm expecting you to be a gentleman and offer her your first invite when the opportunity rolls around.

Posted by: David | Jun 16, 2004 7:32:16 PM

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