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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I loved these...

These landed in my inbox yesterday and I couldn't stop laughing.

Adult Truths:

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. Ladies...Quit Laughing.

Feel free to share any of your own truths...

BTW, I blew an entire lunch hour trying to locate an author to give credit to. If you know who wrote this, let me know.

Posted by David Bogner on March 30, 2011 | Permalink

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I'm embarrassed at how many of these I can relate to!

Posted by: Mrs Belogski | Mar 30, 2011 6:11:16 PM

great list.

Posted by: David S. | Mar 30, 2011 6:39:32 PM

They're all funny, but the cup/helmet one is simply unbelievable.
Still, priorities are priorities...
:)

Larry

Posted by: Larry | Mar 30, 2011 6:57:28 PM

re: #5
I'd be happy to show you how to fold a fitted sheet! Works every time... but I gave up trying to teach the hubby.

Posted by: Deva Katz | Mar 30, 2011 7:13:24 PM

Deva, your hubby and mine must be related!

Posted by: Kiwi Noa | Mar 30, 2011 7:45:08 PM

Let the record show that I fold fitted sheets (and linens in general) better than The Lovely Wife(tm). Naturally, I learned how to by looking it up online... :)

I wouldn't know about #2, naturally... :)

Oh, and Miller Lite? Really? That p*ss-poor junk is enough to reduce inhibitions? I want my early 20s back...

Posted by: efrex | Mar 30, 2011 9:25:39 PM

I agree with Mrs Belogski - I'm also embarrassed at how many of these I can relate to.

And can we please add that Google Maps needs to add an "Avoid Swimming / Water-skiing" option?

Posted by: Kathrin | Mar 30, 2011 10:44:38 PM

How to Fold a Fitted Sheet Videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z5k9nWcuFc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfBRS8NTDJ0

You're welcome!

Posted by: Sarah | Mar 30, 2011 10:56:04 PM

Loved these...unfortunately, I resemble many of them!

Posted by: Kimber | Mar 31, 2011 12:45:11 AM

Laughed through them all...resembled WAY TOO MANY of them!

Posted by: Kimber | Mar 31, 2011 12:45:58 AM

Brilliant!

Posted by: Mark | Mar 31, 2011 12:46:15 AM

i like.

Posted by: sarah | Mar 31, 2011 2:04:54 AM

Hockey goalies wore cups,but no face masks until the 1950`s. It was a great time for dentists and reconstructive surgeons.

Posted by: ED | Mar 31, 2011 2:58:43 PM

Yes, sadly I relate to most of these. I stare at fitted sheets with basically the same look the dog would have if I asked him to change the bag in the vacuum cleaner.

Posted by: Morey Altman | May 12, 2011 2:02:03 PM

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