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Monday, May 25, 2009

Proud Moments In Parenting

You have no idea how proud I am to be able to tell you that, in addition to his beguiling charms and impish good looks, our youngest son Yonah (now almost 5 and a half!) has mastered a clever little party trick... perfect for impressing company:

Whenever Yonah feels a sneeze coming on, he stands up, bends slightly forward at the waist, spreads his arms wide like a bird, plants his tongue firmly against the roof of his mouth... and in one enormous explosion, expels the entire contents of his head (phlegm, brains, etc.) from his nostrils.

Oh sure, he makes a half-hearted show of whimpering to indicate his helplessness in the face of such involuntary impulses.  But the intermittent giggles give away just how proud he is of the feat.

Trust me folks, this never gets old.  No matter how many times I see him do this trick I am amazed anew at how such a little boy can produce such copious (not to mention pendulous) ropes of unspeakable wet matter.  On a good day, it is not uncommon for said mucous ribbons to reach his waist... or even his knees!

I honestly can't decide whether I'm more impressed by the fact that he can sustain this horrible post-sneeze posture pretty much indefinitely (i.e. until someone runs for a kleenex and removes the offending booger-lanche or the dogs get to him... whichever happens first), or by his incredible luck at not having once succeeded in blowing out his eardrums or making his eyes pop out of their sockets.

Posted by David Bogner on May 25, 2009 | Permalink

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um you were initiated 14 years ago into the world of BOY children - this behaviour is so par for the course. my boys would totally high five him every time (um that would be fist bump because high fives are apparently passe)

gross and disgusterating - seems you guys are raising a healthy boy there!

Posted by: Hadassah | May 25, 2009 1:38:24 PM

On a good day, it is not uncommon for said mucous ribbons to reach his waist... or even his knees!

....or collect in slimy pools on the floor!

Folks... trust me. Trep is most definitely NOT exaggerating here!

[blech!]

Posted by: zahava | May 25, 2009 3:07:24 PM

i have one kid who sits at the dining table, smiles deliciously at me, and while maintaining eye contact passed wind very noisily.

but i think Yonahs snot ribbons beats that......

Posted by: Hadassah | May 25, 2009 4:26:28 PM

Ew. Ew. Ew.

I have two boys (17 and 13) and we have yet to experience THAT feat. However, we are fully stocked in the gas department.

Posted by: Maya | May 25, 2009 4:27:52 PM

Just how far out of the caves have we come, guys??? We, his grandparents, can vouch endlessly for his charm, his good looks, his wonderfully evolving talents; but, is it really, really necessary for a celebration of THIS? Yonah has the next six months or so to find a more seemly trick, or his grandmother might reconsider returning to Israel, or at least to Efrat. Think about it, guy! S'not funny, guys!

Posted by: Delmar Bogner | May 25, 2009 5:34:55 PM

Dude. I'm eating breakfast here. Now I have a hurl on deck.

Posted by: Albert | May 25, 2009 6:02:57 PM

Such a lovely vignette. I am sure that my imagination can't do reality justice.
;P

Posted by: QuietusLeo | May 25, 2009 10:21:03 PM

At least he doesn't eat the stuff.

Posted by: Baila | May 25, 2009 10:43:15 PM

What a visual, thanks.

Posted by: Max Power | May 25, 2009 11:19:26 PM

Baila - good point. You slay me.

Posted by: QuietusLeo | May 25, 2009 11:21:49 PM

This post has made me laugh so much my other kidney now hurts!

Posted by: Noa | May 25, 2009 11:31:55 PM

Boys ... will be boys! Isn't it great?

Posted by: Mark | May 26, 2009 1:49:50 AM

"... or the dogs get to him" you say?

Sounds like a marketable doggy treat to me. Though if it's as appealing to dogs as you imply, demand just might outstrip supply.

Posted by: Bob | May 26, 2009 2:03:43 AM

Can't wait to try this in the shower.

Posted by: Elisson | May 26, 2009 5:24:35 AM

Pictures?????

Posted by: Irina | May 26, 2009 5:28:58 AM

ROFL!!!
(I can't get up from the chair long enough to get anything else typed!)

Posted by: Jethro | May 26, 2009 3:54:24 PM

Y'know, usually when we ask for a "hanky warning," this is not what we have in mind... :)

If he could do that while burping out the ABCs, he'd definitely be a shoo-in for the boys' hall of fame...

Posted by: efrex | May 26, 2009 4:05:31 PM

You know...we are always looking forward to visiting at Chez Treppenwitz but this...this just makes us want to visit even more. ;-)

Posted by: orieyenta | May 26, 2009 7:36:32 PM

I raised 2 boys and neither of them ever did anything so colorful (to put it politely) Such nachas!

Posted by: marsha in englewood | May 26, 2009 8:35:57 PM

yulech. I thought the whole snot ribbon thing was gross enough (I was an EMT for years - blood 'n' guts I'm fine with, snot makes my stomach roll), but then you had to go and add the *dogs*???

Oh, man. I'm going to have this "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww" look on my face for hours.

Posted by: Alissa | May 26, 2009 10:19:49 PM

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