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Sunday, February 15, 2009

Excuse me, did we sleep together last night?

Early one morning I rushed into a female coworker's office with an arm-full of files and a long list of urgent questions on my mind.  The questions I had for her were dependent on the contents of several of the files, so I began speaking to her while leafing through the papers in my arms.

Almost immediately she cleared her throat and stopped me with an upraised hand; employing the classic Israeli 'wait' gesture with the palm upraised and the fingers and thumb meeting at the tips.  When she had my full and undivided attention she asked:  "Excuse me, did you sleep with me last night?"

I was sure I hadn't heard her correctly so I asked her to repeat the question.  She fixed me with a pretty smile and said, "I asked if we slept together last night?"

I honestly didn't understand why she would ask me such a question since the answer was clearly 'No'... so I just stared at her with my mouth agape.

She let me stew in my confusion for a few seconds and then said, "If we'd slept together I could maybe understand you not offering a formal greeting today... but since we didn't sleep together last night, 'Good Morning' would be a nice way to start the day, don't you think?"

Ouch!  Point taken.

Posted by David Bogner on February 15, 2009 | Permalink

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HA!!!

Classic!

Posted by: sabra | Feb 15, 2009 1:45:48 PM

Now she had a great line, but this is the site for "the wisdom of the stairs" - no? You must have thought of some great response - maybe in the style of Winston Churchill - as you walked out of her office...

Posted by: Dave (Balashon) | Feb 15, 2009 3:35:05 PM

"The classic Israeli 'wait' gesture with the palm upraised and the fingers and thumb meeting at the tips." My in-laws (also deaf) use this gesture all the time. Then when I went to Israel I saw a lot of people using the gesture. I thought there were a lot of deaf folks in Israel before it finally hit me that all people used it, not just deaf people. Oy.

Posted by: JDMDad | Feb 15, 2009 3:48:30 PM

Sheesh, Israelis just have no manners. We Brits were brought up to say "Good Morning" to the people we slept with last night too.

Posted by: Simon | Feb 15, 2009 5:31:53 PM

I don't get it. Why wouldn't you say good morning to someone you slept with last night?

Posted by: Baila | Feb 15, 2009 10:08:36 PM

Dude! Ouch is right!

Posted by: Kae Gregory | Feb 16, 2009 12:43:10 AM

Wow, being lectured on manners by a native Israeli? Never seen that before, but I guess I haven't been here as long as you yet.

Posted by: Max Power | Feb 16, 2009 2:28:30 AM

An Israeli bothered by lack of manners, I nearly fainted - and this from someone who lived on a kibbutz and for years was subjected to Kibbutzniks chewing. Honestly... The thing I find hysterical is, she's berating your manners AFTER giving you the horrid *wait* gesture, which I have yet to see used non-rudely. It just looks horrendous, always! I mean, she IS right but - really? You're so busy you cannot speak? And not saying 'Good morning' is acceptable if you exchanged body fluids? HA! That doesn't work for Southern Europe either.

Posted by: Lioness | Feb 16, 2009 11:07:57 AM

Wow, what a great attention-getter! Now, to apply some Treppenwitz:

"Excuse me, did we sleep together last night?"

"Hmmm...I don't think so. If we had, my crotch would smell like the Fulton fish market and my mouth would taste like the bottom of a parrot cage...and I would be feeling a sense of Impending Doom. Why do you ask?"

Posted by: Elisson | Feb 16, 2009 1:09:58 PM

How does one come to know what the bottom of a parrot cage would taste like. I shudder at the thought. ;)

Posted by: Jack | Feb 16, 2009 9:05:56 PM

TERRIBLE PERSON, SHE WANTED TO SCORE A POINT.
YESTERDAY I'VE SENT A MESSAGE TO A BABEL AT OUR MAMAGEMENTS OFFICE, SHE FROM NOW ON LIKES ME FOR MY THOUGHTFULL REPLY AND MY RESPECT OF HER WAY OF MANAGING THINGS.
ONE HAS TO LET THE EAGLES CLIP THEIR WINGS BY THEMSELVES WITHOUT REALISING WHAT THEY ARE DOING.
SUFFRAGETTE DOES NOT BELONG IN A DECENT DICTIONARY.

Posted by: Mongrel | Feb 16, 2009 9:50:42 PM

This is classic, and it's going to get you a lot of search entine traffic. Grin.

Posted by: amanda | Feb 18, 2009 4:08:34 AM

I have a bunch of girls working for me. It's a large office with lots of people and they are bound to pass me without saying "hello". I shall try out this trick tomorrow; see what happens...

Posted by: shlemazl | Feb 27, 2009 6:06:10 AM

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