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Monday, November 24, 2008

A new theory is floated

Zahava says that when all the tests come back, the cause of my current medical problems will turn out to be 47 years of swallowing chewing gum.

Posted by David Bogner on November 24, 2008 | Permalink

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Remember Alexander Litvinenko? Have them do a test for Polonium-210.
Of course, it's most likely just exhaustion and an upper respiratory thing. But you can never be too careful :-}

Posted by: Barzilai | Nov 24, 2008 4:28:23 PM

Hey, as long as you chase it down with mouthwash, what's the problem?

Posted by: Marsha in Englewood | Nov 24, 2008 4:36:32 PM

47 years of swallowing Bazooka- that will definitely have an impact.

Posted by: Jack | Nov 24, 2008 5:07:27 PM

Are you writing all this from your cell? If so, I have a lot to learn.

Get well!

Benji

Posted by: What War Zone??? | Nov 24, 2008 6:24:17 PM

Dave... after talking to your wife, just wanted to let you know that I've concurred that for your behavior (acting out a siezure when she was hooking you back up to your various tubes, etc...), she can use her own discretion on whether or not you make it out of the hospital alive! :)
Seriously, we're thinking of you and hope you get sprung soon.

Posted by: val | Nov 24, 2008 6:27:20 PM

Hope you feel better.

Posted by: Channah | Nov 24, 2008 6:36:32 PM

I can send over one of my shoes. That's where most of Israel's used chewing gum ends up. Might help, but you'll have to swallow the shoe. Wishing you a quick return home.

Posted by: Morey | Nov 24, 2008 6:41:43 PM

Hey, my teenage daughter brags about all the gum she's swallowed in class. Glad to know that she's following the footsteps of a genius.

Get well soon!

Posted by: A.F. | Nov 24, 2008 7:04:51 PM

Maybe you caught something in India.

Posted by: dys | Nov 24, 2008 7:07:02 PM

David my friend:
Sudden symptoms, just back from India...
Think parasite, or at least funky microorganism.
I spent too much time at the Elmhurst Medical Center in Queens, where every sick person who gets off a plane comes with their new symptoms, to think otherwise.
I hope you feel better soon.
The Maggid/doctor of Bergenfield

Posted by: Larry | Nov 24, 2008 7:09:48 PM

Praying that you feel better soon.

Posted by: Jendeis | Nov 24, 2008 7:15:00 PM

Oh dear. Refuah shleima.

Mendel spent a Shabbos in the hospital a couple of months ago, right after we got back, with similar symptoms. It turned out that instead of swallowing his reflux medicine that morning, he'd gotten his hand on the bottle containing the class-A narcotics from my root canal last March. And been allergic to them.

Hope you're

Posted by: uberimma | Nov 24, 2008 7:32:19 PM

Eight Ounces of Old Overholt or
Six Ounces of Eagle Rare.
It either cures you or you just don't care.
Either way, you win.
Refuah Sh'laimah

Posted by: Michael H | Nov 24, 2008 7:55:00 PM

Feel better. If you post some test results, we doctors can play along...

Viral pleurisy hurts like hell, but isn't dangerous. Hope they diagnose you with something boring.

Best wishes.

Posted by: Albert | Nov 24, 2008 8:21:24 PM

Oh, man. I don't read for a day or two, and this happens.

Refua shlema, David. Hope you get home soon, well and strong.

Posted by: Rahel | Nov 24, 2008 8:57:01 PM

I bet it was something you picked up in India, too.

Posted by: Joyce | Nov 24, 2008 9:30:25 PM

PS: That's the thing about wives. They have a way of connecting the dots between your present misery and your past misdeeds. Whatever your current ailment, it must be something you did wrong (repeatedly, despite her many cautions)!

Posted by: Albert | Nov 25, 2008 12:51:12 AM

What about a lifetime of swallowing chocolate bars?

Posted by: Baila | Nov 25, 2008 7:54:43 AM

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