treppenwitz

Recharging Batteries

As sick and tired of my political ranting as you may be... I am way beyond sick.  It doesn't matter, wrong, right or somewhere in between... I simply don't like the way I feel before, during or after I've finished with one of those rants.  I feel like it is seriously making me a not nice person.

Writing has always been a very enjoyable process for me, and most of what you read here on treppenwitz has rushed so fast and effortlessly from brain to fingertips that I'm usually left with an almost feverish sense of gratitude that  it looks on the screen pretty much the way it looked in my imagination. 

Making brain pictures into word pictures has always been enjoyable for me... and I am blessed beyond measure that there are people out there who stop by on a regular basis to see what fell out of my head.  But lately the brain pictures have been ugly and the resulting posts have been anything but enjoyable. 

Writing about life in Israel, by definition, is bound to have some political content.  But there has been way too much politics here on treppenwitz and not enough life.  That goes for my real life as well.

I need to decompress a little and rediscover my 'daddy-blogger' place.

So I am going to take a few days with my family (yes, we have the big kids back safe and sound from America), and leave you in the capable hands of some writers I read.  I'm sure I'll do this again in a few months so if I didn't ask you to pinch hit for me... there's always next time. 

I'll leave it to the guest bloggers to introduce themselves, although you might recognize them from the comment board here.  In addition, I'll also try to repost an entry or three from the archives while I'm gone... a 'Best of Treppenwitz' sort of thing (ego?  what ego???).

I'll be back here later in the week.  Play nice with the guest bloggers.

Photo Friday (vol. LXXIV) [O.P.S. edition]

[O.P.S. stands for Other People's Stuff]

I chose the name of today's edition because I didn't take these photos.  The were taken by a gentlemen who calls himself 'Zombie' .  They landed in my inbox as part of my daily 'briefing' from The Freeman Center for Strategic Studies.

The subject matter is quite disturbing... actually more disturbing (to me, anyway) than most of the images I saw from Israel's north or from the south of Lebanon.  They were taken in San Francisco at a pro-Hezbollah (anti-Israel) demonstration outside San Francisco's city hall.

San Francisco is a well known bastion of liberalism and free speech.  In many ways it represents all that is good about America... and also all that is bad.  Good because people are extremely politically active and use every ounce of political muscle given them by the U.S. Constitution (and then some). Bad because while you would never hear a San Franciscan calling an African American 'black' or 'negro', or a Native American/First Nation member an 'Indian' or 'Eskimo'... there seems to be absolutely no social taboo against the use of intentionally insulting epithets when talking about Jews and Israelis.

These pictures tell a chilling tale of San Franciscans who would be surprised and shocked to realize how much common ground they share with hate groups like the KKK.

Have a look:

Kikes, huh?  Please don't bother trying to tell me that this is about debating Israeli policies and not about hating Jews.  This next one seems to imply that 'Israelis' are occupying some portion of America.  Uh huh.  I think this gentlemen is actually talking about Joos.  What do you think?

It's nice to see the Palestinian flag on display as well even though this was not a demonstration about them.  I suppose any opportunity to dogpile on the rabbit...    Hate is like a good suit of clothes... any opportunity to take it out of the closet and parade it around in public is a cause for celebration.

But not to worry, there were plenty of Hezbollah flags to be seen, as well. 

Of course I always enjoy when people ignore the fact that Israel has not had an occupying presence in Lebanon for 6 years... while Hezbollah is an illegal Militia in violation of UN Resolution 1559.

Next up is a well reasoned placard.  It basically supports Hezbollah's tactics and informs Israel that it has no recourse against it.  I'd like to have chained this walking chin-biscuit to a guardrail in Kiryat Shemonah for a few days and seen if his politics evolved at all.

One of the recurring themes at such rallies is the willingness to believe that Israel and/or the US were responsible for 9/11.   There is simply no way to have a reasonable discussion with someone whose anger is so rooted in fantasy.

Of course no anti-Israel rally would be complete without trotting out some made-up quotes to further cement Sharon's place in the Pantheon of the Elders of Zion.

I especially love when Jews/Israelis are called Nazis. 

Likewise, the constant use of the word 'genocide' in reference to alleged Israeli actions/policies is meant to reinforce this myth among the uninformed.  It's a case of telling the lie so often that it becomes an accepted fact. 

Note that none of the posters seem to be stating anything particularly positive about Hezbollah, the Lebanese or the Palestinians.  One would think that a rally in support of something would actually, well, support it.  Instead, all we see is a chilling, baseless hatred for Jews.

No other ethnic or religious group would ever be spoken of in these terms by residents of the SF Bay area.  It would be the height of political incorrectness to do so.  But for some reason Israelis/Jews are not a protected species.  It is always Joo season in San Francisco.

And just so you don't think this is reserved for bay area denizens... think for a moment about the news coverage you watched at home during the war in Lebanon.  It was a very subtle thing, but even the fairly balanced coverage was marred by a horrible distinction:  Non-combatants who were endangered, injured or killed in Lebanon were always referred to as 'civilians'.  Non-combatants who were endangered, injured or killed in Israel were always called... 'Israelis'.  Apparently there are no civilians in Israel, and by extension the people who live in my country were not entitled to the same consideration and protection implied by that title.

Just so you know... another reason I used the term 'Other People's Stuff' for today's edition of Photo Friday is that this coming week you will be treated to some guest posts here on treppenwitz. This is just for a few days and doesn't mark the start of treppenwitz as a group blog, I promise. 

I've asked a few writers I know to step in while I try to recharge my batteries.  I may also republish a few 'best of treppenwitz' posts (ego?  what ego)... we'll see. 

The simple reason for this short break is that I've been writing/ranting way to much about politics and war lately and it has really run me down.  I need a few days to get back to my 'daddy-blogger' place.

That's it for today.

Shabbat Shalom.

Come as you are

One of the cultural stumbling blocks over which I find myself constantly, well... stumbling [that whirring sound you hear is my High School English teacher spinning merrily in her grave], is the tricky decision of what to wear to an Israeli wedding.

In the U.S. I had a much better handle on the social niceties, and in many cases the hosts would gently guide you by indicating on the invitation how formal (or informal) the affair was going to be. 

But here in Israel there seems to be no reliable guide one can use to judge what to wear to a wedding.  You just sort of make a wild guess based on what you know about your hosts and dress accordingly.

This method has let me down on more than a few occasions.

I've shown up at weddings here wearing a suit and tie, only to find half the men wearing casual slacks and open-necked shirts... and the rest in jeans and t-shirts.  I've also shown up wearing a white shirt and slacks only to find most of the men walking around in jackets and ties. 

It's gotten to the point where I sometimes bring a few extra items of clothing in the car as a hedge against the inevitability embarrassment of guessing wrong. (For the record, my wife somehow always manages to be dressed impeccably and appropriate to the occasion.  That I don't 'accidentally' spill something on her is a testament to what a good sport I am. :-)

Last night Zahava and I attended the wedding of a friend from our town.  The bride was one of my regular trempisti'ot (hitchhikers) to Beer Sheva over the past year, and we have become quite friendly during the hours together in the car.  She is a very low key, down-to-earth person... so while I surveyed the possibilities for humiliation hanging in my closet, I hazarded a guess that the attire would be more towards the casual end of the scale.  The fact that the wedding was to take place at a small rural Moshav (sort of a collective farm) helped cement my decision.  Slacks and an open-necked shirt it was.

When we showed up, I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was to be an outdoor affair, and that several men were walking in dressed at about the same level of studied slovenliness as I was.  But when we got inside I got a big surprise that has changed the way I will view the issue of wedding attire forever.

It seems the groom is an officer in the elite Magallan Paratrooper unit of the IDF.  I hadn't really given it much thought until we walked into the place, but obviously he and most of his friends had been fighting for their lives in Lebanon for the past month... and the wedding was taking place only two days after the cease-fire took effect.

How do you plan a wedding under such circumstances?!?

Well, it turns out that the two families had gone ahead with the final preparations for the wedding in hopes that the fighting would end in time.  Israelis are incredible optimists that way.

When I was talking with the Bride's mother before the ceremony, she told me that the army had offered to let the groom leave Lebanon early for his wedding, but he refused to leave his men while the war was still raging.  His rationale was that his men were already operating under extremely dangerous conditions in enemy territory... and to have a new, unfamiliar officer take over his command would further endanger everyone.  So he made the decision to stay.

Looking around the reception it was easy to spot the groom's friends.  They fell into three groups:

1.  Those that had returned from Lebanon two days ago.  These were the guys whose sunburns had mostly faded to tans and who had been able to shower, shave and change into mostly clean uniforms.

2.  Those who had returned from Lebanon the previous night.  While they had shaved and had managed to buy or borrow clean white t-shirts during the day (and had tossed aside their sweat-stained olive-colored uniform shirts), they still wore filthy army pants.

3.  Those who had come directly from Lebanon to the wedding that day.  These were the guys who hadn't had a chance to even wash their faces or find a clean t-shirt.  They had several days worth of stubble on their cheeks and still wore their dirty army uniforms stained with the soil of Lebanon.

What all of these young men shared in common was the inevitable M-16 casually slung over a well-muscled shoulder, and an impossible level of enthusiasm and energy... broad toothy smiles and friendly shouts that gave hint to the simple, unimaginable pleasure they were experiencing at being safe and alive. 

As Zahava and I wandered around the place we watched as groups of these young soldiers hugged each-other with joy, asked after friends who had 'only' been wounded... and occasionally paused to quietly mention the name of a friend/comrade who was conspicuously absent.

Walking around with many of these active duty and reserve soldiers were girlfriends, and the occasional wife.  Maybe it was my imagination, but the women seemed to absolutely drink in the men with their eyes as if to constantly confirm that they were really standing there beside them.

Nowhere was this deep, penetrating gaze more apparent than under the chuppah (the marriage canopy).  As silence fell over the gathered crowd sitting under the open sky and the ceremony began, all eyes were on the bride... and her eyes never left the strong, smiling face of her groom for even an instant.

Zahava leaned over and whispered to me that she couldn't imagine how the bride had managed to remain sane knowing that terrorists had been trying desperately to kill her soon-to-be husband in a foreign country only days before they were to start their life together.  While I understood and admired the groom's loyalty to his men, I couldn't help agreeing with her on that point.  This beaming, beautiful bride was made of stronger stuff than I could imagine.

I've been to hundreds of weddings in my life and am loath to compare one to another.  Each is special and each is the holy union of two people.  But I have never seen the likes of the dancing that ensued once the couple were officially married last night.

The men, who should have been too exhausted to move, flew around in wild circles lifting the groom (and each-other) high into the warm night air. I stopped trying to keep up after 10 or 15 minutes.  The women matched (and maybe even exceeded) the men for sheer output of energy... and the two groups sang so loud that the highly amplified band seemed only a background afterthought by comparison.

As we ate the courses of the festive meal together under the starry night sky, I couldn't help but notice that all the happy celebrants seemed to exist entirely in the present.  No talk of yesterday's events.  No thought of what the morning might bring.  And most of all, nobody seemed to notice that some people were wearing dresses or jackets... others were dressed in the equivalent of rumpled, dirty, olive green pajamas... and the rest fell somewhere in between.

It was then and there that I resolved never again to worry about anything so meaningless as what to wear to a wedding.   

I realize now that to be Israeli is to just show up to share your friend's happiest occasions... and occasionally their grief.  Nobody is interested that you are a snappy dresser or that you know what people are wearing this season in Paris or Milan.  They want you there to help celebrate and commemorate an important event in their lives.  You, not your wardrobe.

If an Israeli host bothered to take note, they would notice that this person came dressed in a jacket and tie... and that other person joined the celebration in their very best jeans and t-shirt.  And they would conclude that both were dressed exactly appropriate to the occasion. 

But no Israeli host would ever notice such things.  Because the height of Israeliness is that people honestly expect you to simply come as you are.

A painful 'I told you so'... and an overdue 'what's next'

No mother in the world warns her children about running with scissors in hopes that they will actually trip and "put an eye out".  And any parent would be horrified if their child sank like a stone in the swimming pool for not having waited the requisite 30 minutes after eating.  Nobody actually wants a kid's face to remain frozen forever in a cross-eyed grimace for the crime of annoying his/her sibling... and I can't imagine anyone taking pleasure in having their child go blind for the transgression of er, ... watching TV in the dark (where did you think I was going?).

Likewise, I take absolutely no joy in reminding readers of the following quote from my July 16th journal entry entitled 'A difficult Lesson'... a post I wrote in the opening days of the war in Lebanon:

"... every well-intentioned power that has ever stepped in and negotiated a ceasefire for an Arab aggressor has helped create the monsters we see around us today.

President Lahoud of Lebanon, a big Hezbollah supporter and a close ally of Syria, has been shrieking non-stop to the UN Security Council for the past two days to get them to force Israel into a cease fire.

Clearly he has been reading his autographed copy of 'Military Success for Dummies Arab Despots' by the late Gamal Abdel Nasser of Egypt.  Ever since Nasser accidentally discovered the trick in '56, every subsequent Arab leader has stuck to his tried and true formula for military success:

• Instigate a war.
• Once the war is well underway and you are in the process of having your ass handed to you... get a few world powers to force your western opponent into a cease fire. 
• Whatever you do, don't surrender or submit to any terms dictated by your enemy.  That would ruin everything!  All you have to do is wait it out and eventually the world will become sickened at what is being done to your soldiers and civilian population... and will force a truce.
• Once a truce has been called you can resume your intransigence (which probably caused the conflict in the first place), and even declare victory as your opponent leaves the field of battle.

This tactic has never failed.  Not once."

And yet here we are less than a month later, staring at the business end of a pre-mature cease fire that leaves...

... Lebanon un-chastised for its complicity in allowing Hezbollah to remain armed.

...  Syria continuing (even as I write this) to truck arms to Hezbollah in Lebanon.

... Iran sharing the victory parade with its proxy army, Hezbollah.

... Hezbollah with absolutely no restrictions or obligations.

... and Israel's hands tied neatly behind its back.

From the moment Hezbollah fired the opening salvo of the war, kidnapping two IDF soldiers and killing eight other, the clock started ticking against Israel. 

That Israel would respond to this act of war was both just and inevitable.  No country can allow its borders to be crossed by combatants and its citizens killed and kidnapped.  But everyone seemed genuinely surprised that the world would automatically assume the right to define the scope and duration of our response... even though this has happened nearly every time Israel has been attacked. 

It makes me want to bang my head against a wall because not one world leader will admit that demanding Israel exercise its legal right to respond to armed attacks while the equivalent of a 24 second shot clock ticks away overhead is absolutely guaranteed to hand victory to Israel's enemies.

I said it before and I'll say it again:  Complete and utter defeat is the only thing that has ever forced an armed antagonist to lay down his weapons and accept terms of surrender.  Anything less simply offers a break in the battle for everyone to re-arm.

Likewise, no mugger in the history of larceny has ever been convinced to accept only your watch and half the money in your wallet.  Terrorist organizations are muggers writ large, and negotiating with the likes of Hamas, Hezbollah, AL Aksa, Al Qaeda, Islamic Jihad, et al simply gives them proof that you are a willing victim and are prepared to hand over far more loot than you already have.

Add to this fiasco the fact that Israel's leaders were completely complicit in allowing the world to tie our hands, and it makes me want to weep!

At the outset of the war PM Olmert addressed his citizens and promised us that Israel would not leave the battlefield without our two kidnapped soldiers in hand (he had already conveniently forgotten Cpl. Gilad Shalit in Gaza).  This was the Raison D'être of the war, he said, and we would punish the enemy until they returned our citizens.

Now here we are with hundreds of Israeli soldiers and civilians killed and injured... entire cities in the north reduced to rubble... Hezbollah still intact and signing for new shipments of arms from Syria and Iran... The toothless U.N. forces (with a French General at its helm, no less) stating before they even show up that they are not empowered to engage Hezbollah... the Lebanese army stating unequivocally that if it deploys in the south (something that has been shelved indefinitely for now) it cannot, and will not, disarm Hezbollah... and our two/three kidnapped soldiers are still in enemy hands! 

This is what Ehud Olmert calls a good result.

I take absolutely no pleasure in saying 'I told you so' about how this war ultimately played out.  I am sickened at the pointless loss of life.  Every precious lost or shattered life could have been justified (IMHO) if we had at least realized our stated goals of securing our northern border, defeating Hezbollah and getting our soldiers back.  But we accomplished none of those things and accepted a shameful U.N. resolution that could have been ours on July 14th if we'd asked for it! 

No, the only pleasure I'll take at this point (and I demand this pleasure) is watching Ehud Olmert, Amir Peretz, Tzippi Livni, Dan Halutz, Shaul Mofaz and anyone else directly responsible for this debacle, to be dismissed from their positions and led away in handcuffs to answer for their crimes against the Israeli people.  I want to see these people paraded before the grieving families of Israel's dead in a well orchestrated perp walk.  I want them to stare into the faces of the people they willfully deceived.

Inexperience is no excuse... nor is ignorance.  These grasping, greedy leaders lied to their countrymen about their qualifications to lead, and willfully ignored the barbarians at the gates.  They wasted precious years plotting how to marginalize and punish a loyal segment of their own population while ignoring obvious warnings of a real external threat. 

Now we are faced with a brief cessation in the battle.  It will take Hezbollah a matter of weeks to return to its former state of readiness, and the Palestinians (who nearly unanimously supported Hezbollah) have used the world's (and Israel's) inattention to bolster their own capabilities.

I suggest we use this brief window to clean house of these criminal leaders and demand that our military begin planning in earnest for the coming battle.  Here are a few suggestions:

Scrap those expensive, cumbersome Merkava tanks and reassign every last tankist to artillery and missile battalions.  Our enemies have had an eternity to map every feature of our border terrain and to identify the routes by which Israeli tanks will have to advance from Israeli soil.  These routes are hopelessly compromised and have proven themselves to be death traps filled with countless ambush sites and buried explosives. Enough of our people were incinerated in the ovens of Europe.  Let's not allow any more of our young men to be burned alive in obsolete/discredited tank warfare.  In the off chance that some future enemy attacks us with tanks... we can buy warehouses full of anti-tank missiles for the cost of a single Merkava.

Create an effective amphibious landing capability.  The Givati Brigade was founded as an amphibious invasion force but was quickly relegated to redundant dry-boot duty by an unimaginative general staff.  We must re-instruct Givati in the necessary art of amphibious assault again for the simple reason that Israel's borders are small... but our enemies' coastlines are huge.  Practice inserting forces on enemy beaches using landing craft, rubber boats and helicopters.  Let our enemy know that their larger geographic size is now a fatal liability.

Create imaginative contingency plans that allow our fighting forces to be inserted where they are least expected.  Massing our troops on the northern border and sending them marching north in a frontal assault against a well-entrenched enemy was madness!  Our men should have been carried by helicopter to the Litani and been allowed to sweep south towards the unprepared rear and flanks of Hezbollah. 

Let our paratroopers be paratroopers.  These red-booted forces should have been scattered in  areas all along the Lebanese/Syrian border and inserted in the outskirts of Beirut.  they should have been allowed to bleed Hezbollah's supply lines dry and attack it's command and control structure.  Asymmetry serves our enemy well.  It's time we used asymmetrical warfare for our own purposes.

Once diplomacy fails, keep the diplomats the hell out of the way.  This war proves more than any previous conflict that no foreign diplomat has ever had Israel's best interest at heart.  Diplomats can speak for and to civilians, but have no role whatsoever once hostilities begin... except to relay someone's interest in accepting terms of surrender.  Israel made a huge blunder by not making our last diplomatic communication an order for all civilians in Southern Lebanon (below the Litani river) to evacuate within 48 hours.  The human shield argument doesn't hold water here.  These people watched for six long years as Hezbollah build bunkers under their houses and apartment buildings and placed rocket launchers in their back yards.  They can't suddenly claim to be hostages.  The time to protest to the U.N. or flee was then... not after the start of hostilities.  Once the 48 hours was over Israel should have used Fuel-Air explosives to incinerate and asphyxiate every living organism remaining on or under the battlefield.  Yes, these weapons are against the Geneva Convention (except to detonate mine fields), but Hezbollah is not a regular army, does not abide by any existing conventions... and is therefore not entitled to their protection.

Tactical Nuclear Weapons.  As chilling as these three words may be, Israel can no longer rely solely on the implied threat of a a colossal nuclear second strike if the country's continued existence is called into question.  With Iran months (or even weeks) away from having the bomb, and even Israel's most primitively equipped enemies having bunkers that can withstand the most powerful conventional weapons, Israel must drop its intentional ambiguity about what it does and doesn't have and show the world proof that it has small nuclear devices capable of reaching anyone, anywhere.  Only the certainty that a limited nuclear response will meet anyone who attacks Israel will ensure her future safety.  The US has a doctrine of 'Nuclear = Biological = Chemical'.  Simply put, this means that any of these three types of threats will be treated interchangeably and will require a like response.  Since the US maintains that it does not have chemical or biological weapons, that means any NBC threat will guarantee a nuclear response.  Israel has been publicly threatened dozens of times since 1991 with chemical, biological and nuclear attack.  In my opinion each and every one of these threats should have elicited an immediate tactical nuclear response.  We can't afford to wait and see if the little boy is crying wolf.  By then it will have been too late.

Last but not least, the enemy who lives in our midst must be dealt with once and for all.  The Palestinians elected Hamas for the simple reason that Hamas promised (and continues to promise) that they will destroy the State of Israel.  They are therefore at war with us and must be militarily defeated.  No more negotiating.  No more duplicity.  No more diplomatic theatrics.  You want us dead.  Fine... just understand that you are going to be destroyed for your efforts.  What about the apolitical, moderate Palestinians who don't want to fight Israel, you ask?  They had better get political in a hurry and form an outspoken, grassroots groundswell to evict the Palestinian leadership calling for Israel's destruction.  This laughable rumor of a silent majority of moderate Palestinians must not be allowed to continue unchallenged and unproved.  Every wartime poll showed that the Palestinian population overwhelmingly supported Hezbollah and its goals throughout this past month and continue to celebrate Hezbollah's victory.  They now have the idea that their victory is next.  Only a war will prove them wrong. Either way, Israel can't tolerate even one more Qassam to be fired into Israel.  Not one more!

I'm exhausted thinking about the magnitude of our leadership's failure to protect us.  The time has come for the next generation of Israeli leaders to get to work.

It's Islam, stupid

In the immediate aftermath of 9/11, American comedians didn't quite dare wade into the topic of the new reality.  For several weeks following the attack, the stand-up acts were strangely devoid of anything related to homeland security or terrorism.  That is, until Jay Leno stepped up and decided that enough was enough. 

In his opening monologue one evening he delivered what has since become a classic bit:

"I'm not saying they're profiling at the airports these days.  But if your first name is 'Mohammed' and your last name isn't 'Ali'... leave a little extra time."

He nailed it. 

Unfortunately, for some reason the people who are paid to understand such things still don't 'get' the prescient truth behind Leno's timely joke.

With the exception of North Korea, every single trouble spot on the planet can be directly tied to the doctrine of Islam.  Please take note that I didn't use the words 'radical' or 'militant' to modify the word Islam.  Islam, as preached and practiced from it's primary source (the Koran), is quite simply incompatible with other cultures and religions.  Since its inception in the 7th century, Islam has demanded that its followers submit themselves completely to the will of Allah... and that they in turn bend the rest of the world completely to the pitiless domination of Islam. 

The best any non-Muslim can expect according to the Pact of Umar is a barely-tolerated status known as 'Dhimmi'... which is basically a subservient second class status in Muslim society.  In short, Islam does not play nicely with others.  It's all or nothing.

Since Islam was invented (yes, you read that correctly) it has been the cause of countless wars, conquests and overt attempts to dominate the known world.  Throughout its history, Islamic leaders have made absolutely no secret of their intentions to carry out Allah's global ambitions.  And in every generation since, the non-Muslims of the world have said to themselves (as we are again saying to ourselves today), that they don't really mean it... that this is just the way those people talk and it is a cultural thing for which we need to make allowances.

I honestly don't understand this willful blindness.

Listen up people... they mean it!  Really!!! When people in charge of nearly limitless resources and vast armies stand up and state quite openly that they intend to wipe a country off the map, they mean it!  When these leaders state their intention to return to the lines of demarcation (and beyond) where previous Muslim invasions/conquests faltered in Europe... they mean it. 

When they tell us in the most unambiguous, straightforward language that they won't stop until they have conquered the world... THEY REALLY MEAN IT!

Every advance in global communication and travel that should have made the world a better, smaller, safer place to live has been exploited by Islam as a weapon against us.  Because of the tenets of Islam, every man woman and child must now wait in endless lines to enter public buildings and travel on buses, trains and airplanes.  And each time we think we have figured out a way to return to some semblance of normalcy in our daily lives, we discover (often too late) that Muslims have figured out a new way to target us and kill us in large numbers.

Over the past few days British and U.S. security officials have been interviewed about the new security measures in place after the [apparently] foiled attempt to smuggle liquid explosives onto a bunch of trans-Atlantic flights.    Their solutions make absolutely no sense!  They have little old ladies from Peoria throwing away their Florida Water.  They have teenagers dumping shampoo, hair gel and conditioners from their purses and backpacks.  They have people tossing out their contact lens solution!!!

What they aren't doing is mining the database which contains the name and salient details of every Muslim man woman and child in the free world (a database I assure you exists), and demanding that every one of these potential jihadists be subjected to the same waiting period to buy a plane ticket as most U.S. citizens have to endure before purchasing a handgun.   

There it is.  Call me a racist.  Call me a bigot.  Call me whatever you want.   

Obviously not every Muslim in the world is actually a terrorist or dreams gleefully of subjugating the world under the heel of Islam.  But the ones who don't represent a clear and present threat to us are the exception rather than the rule.  To pretend otherwise and formulate our approach to dealing with our enemies based on our experience with this tiny minority of benign Muslims is insanity.

The Muslim countries and individuals that have proven themselves (thus far, anyway) capable of peaceful coexistence with non-Muslim cultures are those who have deliberately moved towards secularization of their religion and society.  They have basically created an 'Islam Lite' that preserves many of the cultural touchstones if Islam without demanding the subservience and militancy of the Full Monty Wahhabi.  What does it say about a religion that in order for it to coexist peacefully with other cultures and faiths it must be de-clawed of its more dangerous statutes?

Just because we can point to Jordan or Egypt and say, "See... it's possible to be both Muslim and a peaceful neighbor", is no disproof of what I've said here.   Both of these countries have had mixed results creating secular societies, and as a result are facing destabilizing internal insurgencies from their religious citizens.

Likewise, we can point to many wonderful Muslim individuals around the world who are neither personally dangerous nor supporters of global Jihad.  But these people are marginal players in their own societies and would certainly not put their lives at risk telling the Mullahs to just 'give peace a chance'.  I mean, did you ever notice that these moderate Muslims are always calling on the non-Muslim world (especially Israel and the U.S.) to be the ones to back down in the face of threats and violence... y'know, as a humanitarian gesture?  Yet all the while Islam remains on the march with no hint of concession or regret in sight.

The sudden massive immigration of Muslims into western Europe over the past 30 years is no accident or coincidence.  This is a conquest plain and simple, although without the swords and horses most refuse to recognize it as such.  Europe has historically been able to tolerate immigration because their own cultures have been strong enough to absorb and influence the new arrivals. 

Of course, we Jews know from painful experience that refusal to be absorbed can lead to unwanted negative attention from European hosts.  Perhaps the Europeans learned the lesson too well with us (the Jews) and are therefore doubly vulnerable to the Muslim hordes.

But make no mistake... these aren't a bunch of wandering Huguenots or Jews who refuse to be absorbed into European society.  Islam demands the home team advantage even when on the road... and is acting as an aggressive, belligerent cancer that has metastasized on the vital organs of European society. 

Think about this for a moment:  A practitioner of a non-Muslim religion would be barred from most outward practices of his or her faith in any Muslim country. But let anyone or anything trod on the toes of Islamic practices anywhere in the free world and there will be riots and murder in the streets. 

Let a Muslim be arrested for breaking the law... rioting, destruction and murder ensue.

Let a cartoon be drawn that insults any aspect of Islam... rioting, destruction and murder ensue.

Let anyone suggest that women be photographed for national identity cards in such a way that they can actually be identified (i.e. without a veil or chador)...rioting, destruction and murder ensue.

Throughout the free world there are now cultural no-go zones where the police, politicians and even military dare not tread for fear of inciting Muslim violence. 

A Buddha can't be tolerated in Afghanistan.  A crucifix is an affront in Iran.  Entire Jewish communities in every Muslim country have been uprooted and expelled (and all their holdings and property seized by the mobs).  Yet I challenge you to name a city in Western Europe where the skyline isn't marred by turgid minarets and where the residents aren't subjected to the amplified din of the muezzin from pre-dawn til late at night.

The west willfully turns a blind eye to the abuse of women and children and tacitly condones honor killings in our midst.  Our laws are well written and equipped to deal with these issues... yet those sworn to uphold and defend the laws are fearful of lighting the powder keg called 'Muslim Sensibilities'.

And yet each time Muslims up the stakes in their declared war on the rest of the world, we pretend they don't really mean it.  We patronize them and infantalize them... and we pooh-pooh their rantings and crimes as we would those of an ill-behaved child.  At a certain point one has to wonder if world leaders are just stupid or if they are actually complicit in the attacks on their own societies!

Anyone who gets on TV and says that Islam is a religion of peace is either an ignoramus or a liar. 

Anyone who stands up after a kidnapping and tells the world not to worry about the welfare of the hostages because Islam requires that prisoners be treated humanely, is pulling a Jedi mind trick in an attempt to make us forget the countless hostages that have been tortured, shot, knifed or beheaded to satisfy the ongoing blood-lust of a 7th Century L.Ron Hubbard*. 

Wake up folks!  The people who are funding and carrying out these attacks are Muslims.  It isn't that they just happen to be Muslims.  If you take the time to read the Koran (instead of blindly taking the world of Muslim murderers and apologists) it is full of very straight-forward directives to dominate, subjugate, and if necessary, kill the infidel while taking over the world. 

Each time a Muslim politician gets up after an attack and claims that the terrorists do not act in the name of Muslims and that such attacks are damaging the standing if Islam around the world, you can bet they are speaking in English... and that the version delivered to their co-religionists will be an Arabic or Farsi riff on Queen's hit 'We are the Champions'!

The answer isn't to negotiate with Islam.  The streets are no longer safe.  Travel is no longer safe.  Commerce is no longer safe.  Even speaking or writing what we think is risking a death sentence!  We can't possibly concede anything more to Islam because, quite literally, we have nothing left to give.  Any concessions from here on in will simply amount to handing them our little remaining autonomy and freedom piece-by-piece.

The world is making a horrible mistake by imposing a cease-fire on Israel in its war on Hezbollah.  This shameful document grants a terrorist organization legal status and standing in the international arena and fails to punish the states who sponsor it (Syria and Iran)... or hold accountable the country (Lebanon) that allows it to dominate its political life and government. 

This cease fire denies Israel (and every other civilized country) the right to defend internationally recognized borders, and in fact calls into question the very concept of internationally recognized borders!!!  Quite simply, this cease fire resolution codifies in black and white that aggression is the new diplomacy and everything is ultimately negotiable.

New U.N. Resolutions (such as the one under which the cease fire is to be implemented) are a waste of time since they only underscore the fact that previous resolutions can easily be set aside and/or ignored with impunity.  Kofi Annan and his merry bunch of enablers have granted the Muslims yet another 'Do Over' in their race towards global domination without the troublesome formality of forcing them back to the starting line.

The moment this cease fire goes into effect the west will have signed its own death warrant.  We will have declared to the entire Muslim world that there is always a reward for unprovoked aggression.  From here on in, at every turn the world will be faced with emboldened Muslim organizations and regimes who will take up arms in anticipation of the next western capitulation.  Any of these so-called moderate Muslim voices we hear so much about will (if they're smart) run for cover.  We've sold them out and made their future existence every bit as tenuous as our own.

Yes folks, we are witnessing the beginning of the end in the global war of cultures... and true to form, we still refuse to even name the enemy.

It's Islam, stupid!

* Hat tip to 'Stone Giant' of the Glock Talk Forum for this priceless quip.

Photo Friday (vol. LXXIII) [new horizons edition]

Sometimes all it takes to expand and extend one's horizons... and to discover new opportunities... is a small change in posture.  For example the difference between sitting and standing provides entirely new vistas:

Of course it is essential that one remain grounded and occasionally take note of how things are progressing closer to home:

And naturally, it pays to stop, smile and look around once in a while... especially after a job well done:

Congratulations Yonah on a lesson well learned.  Go forth and conquer... for the world is now your bathroom!

Shabbat Shalom!

Who's afraid of silly old ball bearings?

One of the dangers of the 24 hour media cycle is that we tend to fancy ourselves well-informed about the most granular aspects of world events.  This is dangerous because once we think we know something, it becomes difficult to disabuse ourselves of that notion.

For instance, nearly every network has provided detailed explanations of how the Hezbollah rockets do their damage.  We have heard scholarly discussions of these non-guided weapons packed with explosives and ball bearings, and how they are designed to spray the area where they hit with thousands of these small round projectiles.

The problem is that while bullets are firmly inscribed in our minds as unquestionably lethal... we inevitably associate ball bearings (no matter how they are used), with bicycles, roller skates and other 'safe' pastimes. 

In short, we don't really 'get' what all the fuss over ball bearings could possibly be.

Please watch the linked Power Point presentation showing a small sample of the carnage in Haifa.  It was put together by a talented photographer named 'Lenny M'. and will forever change the way you think about these innocuous silver-colored balls.

Click HERE to start downloading the slide show

For those unfamiliar with PowerPoint... you will have to either click to advance each slide or use the scroll wheel of you mouse (if you have one).

[It might take a few minutes to download but it is required viewing for anyone who thinks they understand what the Israelis in the north are contending with.]

Hat Tip to Smooth Stone for sending me this.

Unseemly schadenfreude

I really shouldn't indulge in such unseemly schadenfreude while there is a war on.  But I couldn't help chuckling this morning at seeing the Israeli far-left with its collective panties in a twist... all because nobody is paying any attention to their anti-war demonstrations. The best part was where Meretz MK Naomi Chazan had the gall to complain that "Criticism of the war has been contained and curtailed". 

I'm sorry Naomi... were you profiled by the police on the way to your demonstrations?  Were you stopped and forced to turn around?  Were you arrested for taking part in your demonstration?  Were you beaten and imprisoned without charge for expressing your opposition to a government policy you felt is wrong, immoral or even illegal?

No? 

Then please do us all a favor and have the good grace to shut up and be just the tiniest bit embarrassed at your blatant hypocrisy.

Almost exactly a year ago the Israeli right was screaming to anyone who would listen that the media was quite obviously carrying water for the government and facilitating only the message that then PM Sharon wanted publicized.  Any anti-disengagement voices were deliberately marginalized or ignored by the press, and demonstrations against the pull-out from Gaza were at best ignored... and at worst, physically thwarted.

However, it may surprise you to know that I agree 100% with MK Chazan and her political allies on two important points: 

1. Demonstrations should not be quashed or marginalized by either the media or the government.
2. Political dissent is not only good for a healthy democracy, but essential! 

I just find it a tad ironic that the very people who had absolutely no problem with the media marching in lock-step with the government during disengagement ('for the good of the country', mind you) are suddenly outraged when the pendulum returns and knocks them over like a bunch of bowling pins.

If citizens (but not soldiers, mind you!) want to demonstrate against the war, they should do so. Seriously... if that's how you honestly feel, get out there and scream in the streets!  But if the media pretends such events aren't news and decides to return to a policy of carrying water for the government, you have to accept the blame for your own political and media marginalization. 

I may be laughing on the inside at the far left's persistent but misguided faith in a negotiated solution with our sworn enemies even as rockets continue to fall on our cities and an entire generation of Israeli youth are in Lebanon risking their lives to try to stop the carnage on the home-front.  But I absolutely share the left's outrage at the complete lack of a free, independent press in our small country. 

Never to be burned again

It's really amazing what the human mind will do to protect itself from injury.  Unlike children who learn to avoid hot stoves only by burning a finger, the avoidance games the adult mind plays are designed to keep us from experiencing even that initial burn. 

For instance, we all learn about the holocaust... but our mind keeps the lessons in soft focus and refuses to allow the information access to the most vulnerable places in our being for fear of causing irreparable damage. 

The same can be said about the slaughter of our countrymen and co-religionists in terror attacks and warfare.  We read about these horrible events, but unless the victim is a family member of someone we know personally... we somehow manage to hold the information at arms length so as not to let the searing heat of the tragedy too close to our vulnerable soul. 

In short, we understand... but we are never allowed to really learn.

It has gotten to the point where it has become harder and harder to trick our mental gate-keepers into allowing us the painful-but-necessary opportunity to feel real pain.  We need to truly internalize the lessons of the current horrors in order to solidify our national resolve not to allow ourselves to be burned again... but our minds won't allow it.

Instead of learning from current events, we mentally substitute older, more manageable horrors that won't require us to act or learn.  When we read about the holocaust in any book or newspaper, our mind replaces the horrible specifics with sanitized memories of our last visit to Yad Vashem or a safe passage from 'The Diary of Ann Frank'.   

When we read and hear news about the latest victims of terror and see the pictures of our fallen soldiers who will never grow old... instead of seeing the current truth, our minds defensively replay old files with which we've made our peace; Ma'alot... Munich... Sbarros... The Dolphinarium.

Intellectually I understand why our minds play these games. Some might call it avoidance.  Others would call it self-preservation.  But the result is that we end up numbing our national 'Fight or Flight' instinct.  We allow our pain threshold to be raised only as fast as we can survive it... but not so fast that we are forced to identify and deal with the source of the pain.  We are like a frog in the slowly heating  pot of water... What heat? *

A few months back I was checking a fact before sending an email to a friend in Portugal.  It's a silly thing I do, but I hate appearing like a typical American - ignorant of everything but American 'culture' and history.  I don't even remember the context of the missing reference, but I was looking on-line to find out what year the Jews were expelled from Portugal.

After a few minutes of on-line research (i.e. Googling) I stumbled upon the answer:  The Expulsion decree was issued in 1496 and carried out in 1497. 

But while I was reading I was caught completely unaware by a story that devastated me the way no event in the Holocaust or current terror had ever hurt me.  My mind had never considered Portuguese history to be potentially dangerous turf, so it had never constructed the elaborate defenses against it such as I've described above.  The simple reason I was vulnerable to the lesson of this story is that my mind just didn't know this particular stove was hot.

How many of you out there knew that the Portuguese monarch (King Joao II) initially welcomed the Jews when they were expelled from Spain by Ferdinand and Isabella in 1492?  OK, truth be told, he mostly welcomed the wealthy ones who could pay huge taxes to his war chest as well as those who were skilled in such things as weapon/armor-making. 

In fact as I started to read I was lulled into almost admiring the Portuguese for taking in the Jews when few others would have them.  But then a sub-plot within the tale of Portuguese Jewry snuck up on me and completely seared its lesson into my brain:

It seems that as many as 100,000 Jews may have been allowed to enter Portugal as temporary residents after paying a head tax of 8 Cruzados per adult (a large sum of money at the time).  The condition was that within eight months they would leave voluntarily by way of one of three ports.  However, at the end of eight months there was little shipping available that would enable them to leave, and most of them were stripped of their property and liberty and became defacto slaves of the crown.

in 1493, two islands off the west coast of Africa called Sao Tome and Principe came under Portuguese control and King Joao wanted very much to populate them without having to put his citizens at risk.  So he appointed a man named Alvaro de Caminha Captain of the Island of Sao Tome and ordered 2000 Jewish boys and girls (aged 2 -10 years old) to be torn forcibly from their parents... converted to Christianity and sent with Caminha on ships to the distant island.

According to records, many of the 2000 children died en route to Sao Tome, and within one year only 600 of these precious Jewish children were still alive.  However the survivors refused to conform completely to the religion that had been forced upon them and as late as the early 1600s the Bishop of Sao Tome quit in disgust because the descendants of these Jewish children, while nominally Christian, still refused to give up many vestigial customs of their Jewishness.

In 1993 descendants of those Jewish children who still live on Sao Tome (and who are still a distinct segment of the island's population, albeit not Jewish) held ceremonies to commemorate the terrible events of 500 years ago.

This story is no more or less horrifying than any of the countless other cruelties that have been inflicted upon the Jews during our exile.  But because I had never heard of these events, my mind was completely unprepared for it and had not constructed any sort of defense.  All I could picture while reading about these events was someone taking my three children from me and sending them off to live or die in some distant, unknown place.

As I read this story I imagined I could actually smell my mind burning as it was pressed inexorably against the stove.  Without wanting it to, an indelible lesson was burned into my brain.  It is a lesson that too many of us think we know... but yet for all our collective experience and 'knowledge', we continue to allow our enemies to take our children from us in the name of progress, coexistence... peace.

Each time a Jewish man, woman or child is taken from our midst, we adjust and make mental peace with the event.  Each time one of our precious soldiers is killed for the simple crime of being an Israeli... we are saddened, but we find a way to coexist with the news.

Our minds protect us from these horrible events... perhaps too well.  We adjust and adapt to them with such alacrity that we make ourselves immediately vulnerable to the next opportunity to be burned.  And the next.

Every Jewish life is precious and sacred.  We cannot allow ourselves to become accustomed to anyone culling our decimated population.  We can't allow our minds to cushion the blow or avoid it altogether.  We think we are protecting ourselves and our children... but we are really doing the opposite when we hide our minds from the truth.

It is only the child who is allowed to touch the hot stove that will be determined never to be burned again.

Note:  While the two sources  (here and here) from which I drew my information disagreed on some dates including the years of succession... the events described are a matter of indisputable record.

* Yes, I know this has been disproved.  Whattaya gonna do, revoke my poetic license?

Excess baggage of an emotional hostage

Late last night I drove Ariella and Gilad to the airport and sent them off to spend a couple of weeks at the family compound in Connecticut (I've always wanted to use that Kennedy-esque expression about my parent's beach house).

From the moment Shabbat ended Zahava sat in the living room looking at the clock and dabbing discretely at her eyes.  The longest stretch of time she has ever spent away from any of our kids in their entire lives is, maybe, 36 hours!  By comparison, 13 days was a yawning eternity that was threatening to pop all of her mommy-fuses at once.

For his part, our two-and-a-half year old kept climbing into Zahava's lap, grabbing her face between his pudgy hands and saying, “It’s okay Ima, don’t cry!” and  “You 'k Ima? Give Yonah kiss!"  He seemed honestly baffled when this magic trick which had always worked on him, only made Zahava cry harder.

Each time I glimpsed a break in the tear storm and tried to assure her that it was really no big deal for kids this age to fly solo, she started muttering insane stuff about how they need to wear closed backed shoes (instead of their Naot clogs) in case (G-d forbid, blee ayin harah, tfu tfu tfu, etc.) the plane crashed. 

I honestly don't know where she picked up this morbid little piece of travel trivia, but by the time we were bringing the kid's suitcases down to the living room, she seemed to be teetering on the edge of believing that it was only closed-backed shoes on the feet of our children that would keep the passenger jet in the air until it reached its destination.

I finally had to dust of my firm 'father knows best' voice and tell Zahava that it was a night flight and it was important that the kids be able to easily slip their shoes on and off so they might have a chance of sleeping. 

Zahava wasn't happy that I'd over-ruled what she considered to be one the cornerstone of physics and aerodynamic theory... but to her credit she sat silently and only sobbed a little as the kids exchanged their sneakers for their clogs.

Once we waved a teary goodbye to Zahava and Yonah and were heading towards the airport, my own daddy-fuses began to slowly pop one at a time.  As I tried to calmly go over all the important stuff I'd learned as a seasoned traveler, I could hear my voice getting higher and more strained.  What the hell was I thinking?!... these kids weren't nearly old enough to fly halfway around the world by themselves!

By the time we pulled into the airport I was starting to lose it. 

I missed the turn-off for the police station the first two times around the airport... and when Ariella asked me why we seemed to be going around in circles I was perhaps a little more abrupt with her than I should have been.  I had no choice but to stop off at the police station in order to check my gun or I wouldn't be able to go into the terminal with them... so each time I missed the turn off it shaved another 10 minutes off our already dwindling good-bye time together inside the airport.

Once we were in the terminal and had navigated the thorough Israeli security screening, we were sent to a nearby ticket window to magically turn the kid's e-tickets into real live paper boarding passes. 

Only we were sent to the wrong window.  Apparently unaccompanied minors have their very own ticketing window somewhere in Ben Gurion International Airport... and its location is one of the more closely guarded national secrets. 

We spent a full twenty minutes being sent on wild goose chases until a hapless security official made the mistake of responding to my visible skepticism at his directions with the dreaded phrase 'Smoch Alai' (trust me).  Right there and then I suddenly understood why they don't allow guns inside the terminal.

Instead of doing anything rash, I calmly told him that I was not going anywhere without him.  He could either personally escort us to this elusive 'unaccompanied minor window'... or he would be having three house-guests for the foreseeable future.

He decided to take us there.

Once we were at the desired window a new issue arose.  Apparently during one of our many trips through security and the pre-check-in screening we had managed to get a particular colored sticker stuck on the kids' Israeli passports instead of on their American passports.  This discrepancy was too much for the woman at the unaccompanied minors window to process, and with a look of deep sadness she sent us off in search of additional stickers.

The problem with these stickers is that they are given out by a roving band of airport employees who don't stay in any one place for more than 30 seconds.  I suppose this strolling, decentralized approach to sticker distribution is supposed to prevent bottlenecks and crowds... but it also makes it impossible to retrace your steps if the wheels happen to fall off any part of the check-in process.

As luck would have it I spotted the security guy we had previously held hostage and forced him to locate someone to dispense the required stickers.

Back at the unaccompanied minors window I was non-plussed to see an enormous family with a metric ton of luggage trying to check in.  It was immediately clear that the parents were flying with the kids (WTF?)... and equally clear that the woman behind the counter - the only person in the airport... perhaps in the known world... who could process unaccompanied minors - was going to take care of them.

More fuses started tripping... pop, pop, pop!

After 20 minutes of watching the runny-nosed, quarrelsome poster children for birth control and their plodding, obese parents search casually through endless bags and suitcases for passports and tickets (only occasionally finding single examples of one or the other), I got the sudden idea that perhaps I was witnessing some kind of scavenger hunt... something they considered all part of the vacation fun.

(Pop, pop, pop, pop!)

Before I actually lost my mind I stepped up to the woman behind the counter and suggested that since a full twenty five minutes had now passed and this family didn't seem quite ready to be processed... perhaps she could suggest they step to the side and let other people (US!) check in. 

To her credit, the ticket agent's bovine eyes looked only mildly surprised by my helpful suggestion.  I think if I had created cold fusion in her coffee cup or pulled a howler monkey out of my butt, her expression would have been only slightly less composed.

Once the super-sized Waltons and their endless sea of luggage had been herded off to the side, I handed the agent the kid's e-tickets again and she dutifully started clacking furiously away at her computer. 

There seems to be some special code that airline personnel use when entering data that requires 20 or 30 keystrokes for each corresponding letter in the Latin alphabet.  In any event, it was another 5 minutes before she looked up from the keyboard concerto she was performing with a deeply worried expression on her face.  This didn't appear to be good news (and my fuses kept on pop, pop, popping!).

"Sir", she began, "Are you aware that there is a $50 fee for minors traveling without an adult?" 

I breathed a sigh of relief.  Is that all?  Of course I knew that! 

Looking at her knitted brow and quivering jowls I thought the airline had somehow lost the kid's reservations... and here she was frowning at her computer screen because perhaps this red faced, sweating father might not want to pay the additional fee for his children to fly alone.

Moron!  (pop, pop, popopopop!)

I quickly paid the $50 bucks and looked at my watch with rising panic as I realized there was only about 40 minutes until the scheduled departure time.  But looking at the sea of people who had yet to check in for the flight, I forced myself not to worry about them missing the flight.  However, my unease returned when the agent handed me the receipt for the $50 dollar fee.  I was shocked to see in bold letters across the top of the printed page, the words:

"Receipt for Excess Baggage Fee"

Excess Baggage!  (pop,pop,popopopopopop!)

I must have lost my mind for a moment because when I could again focus on what she was saying I heard her explaining that all additional fees were accounted for with this standard receipt form, and of course they didn't consider the kids to be baggage... excess or otherwise.

We finished the check-in process without any further elevation in my blood pressure and the kids were given clear plastic pouches containing their boarding passes and passports to wear around their necks.  We were then directed to a roped off area where several other parents were standing with kids (who also had their boarding passes and passports in clear plastic pouches suspended around their necks).

Now I'm a veteran traveler and have logged roughly a bazillion miles on a wide range of fixed and rotary winged commuter (and also military) aircraft.  Flying is fun.  Flying is convenient.  Flying is safe.

So why is it that as I waited there in the roped-off area for a complete stranger to come escort my two pre-teen kids into the security area of the terminal, that I suddenly got a mental image of my babies being shoved into an un-airworthy steel tube where every one of it's thousands of aging parts were manufactured by the lowest bidder? *

When a flight attendant finally came to gather up her young charges, we waited as one by one she introduced herself to the kids and checked their documents.

When she got to Ariella and Gilad she seemed to be looking for something ... and not finding it.  After a few minutes of flipping through their passports and turning their boarding passes over and over in her hand, she looked up at me and asked, "Where are their stickers?"

Imagine the sound of the lead singer's microphone at a rock concert... submerged in a bowl full of milk and Rice Crispies.

POP! 

All my remaining fuses popped at once.  That vapid idiot at the unaccompanied minor check-in counter had actually peeled off the stickers I had gone to so much trouble to acquire.  I tried to imagine what would posses her to do this, but all I heard in my ears was the frying bacon sound of wires short circuiting.

This blameless flight attendant must have looked into my eyes and seen the beast about to emerge, because the she quickly added, "Sir, I don't think it will be a problem... really".

I tried to get her to quantify the phrase "I don't think..." in terms of mathematical probability that she wouldn't be able to get my kids on the flight, but she quickly back-tracked... removed the offending phrase from her sentence... and assured me "It won't be a problem...Trust me!".

I must have lost consciousness because I have only the vaguest recollection of hugging the kids and giving them kisses before watching them disappear into the mysterious land beyond the security gate.  The drive home was accomplished on auto-pilot.

The kids are in the air right now and I should really be asleep.  It's almost 4:00AM, and I'm wide awake... an emotional hostage to a couple of kids who are probably having the time of their lives right now, conning flight attendants out of playing cards and plastic pilot's wings. 

They are probably watching a movie or eating the brownies and rugalach we stuffed into their carry-on bags.  I can even see them in my mind's eye effortlessly making friends and exchanging email addresses with other kids on the flight.   So why is it that I keep picturing myself changing their diapers?

Oh yeah, I'm gonna be a lot of fun to be around when they go into the army.

* Yes dork boys and girls, I know this phrase is a shameless lift from an offhand comment attributed to several American astronauts back in the 60s.  Get over it.

Photo Video Friday (vol. LXXII) [whiplash edition]

I received links to two videos this week that, together, gave me a case of emotional whiplash.

The first is to a video of those socks and underwear you saw in the back of my car last Friday being distributed to soldiers along the northern border.  It gave me such pleasure watching such simple items we all take for granted being given to soldiers lined up as if for concert tickets.

I've already written the first check from your donations (total donations from treppenwitz readers in the last week now exceed $2,000!), to the organization that is purchasing and delivering the underwear, undershirts and socks.  You can all feel quite proud of yourselves that scenes like those in this video will be playing out again and again for the next few weeks:

CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO

The second video nearly gave me heart failure.  It is an interview on CNN conducted in the immediate aftermath of the IDF missile attack on Qana.  The main issue under discussion is that directly or indirectly, the IDF missile resulted in the collapse of an apartment building and the deaths of many civilians inside.

The interview obviously took place before questions began to be raised about the 6 or 7 hour lag between when the IDF missile was fired at the Ketyusha launcher next to the building... and when the building actually collapsed.  There has since been a lot of speculation as to why there was such a delay between the missile strike and the collapse, as well as why civilians were still inside a building that ostensibly had been terminally weakened by the explosion.

Regardless of whether it was just bad judgment on the part of the people inside the building or a deliberate, cynical action by Hezbollah to cause harm to civilians in order to further vilify Israel... the Israeli spokesperson in the interview is completely contrite and makes it perfectly clear that Israel deeply regrets all civilian loss of life and has taken great pains to protect innocent Lebanese citizens while pursuing Hezbollah. 

However she also makes the important point that Hezbollah has deliberately entrenched itself among the civilians in order to use them as human shields... making civilian casualties inevitable.  and she points out that Hezbollah is ONLY targeting Israeli civilians with its rockets.

Watch the interview.  In addition to a clear bias, the CNN interviewer has only the shakiest grasp of historical context, current events and the capabilities of currently available military hardware.  However, none of this stops her from sounding suspiciously like she is sleeping with Nasrallah.  The eager gleam in her eyes each time she accuses Israel of intentionally targeting civilians was enough to make me want to chain her to a lamp post in Kiryat Shemoneh for a couple of days.  But since I can't (legally) do that, I'm going to do the next best thing and once again encourage everyone with a conscience to boycott CNN until the end of time.

CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO

I hope the emotional whiplash caused by the close proximity of those two videos hasn't left anyone emotionally scarred.

Shabbat Shalom.

 

Crabby

Maybe it's because I can't eat today.  Maybe it's because I also can't drink.  Maybe it's because I didn't wean myself off of caffeine before the fast.  But whatever the reason, I am in a foul mood today and am not to be trifled with.

The following people should please stay home today so I don't have to kill them:

• Those who enter the supermarket, place an empty shopping cart in the check-out line, and begin filling it by making multiple trips to aisles to retrieve individual items, thus assuring themselves the next spot in line no matter when they actually finish taking these endless forays into the wilds of the store.  Invariably I will wait 20 minutes in line behind such a seemingly abandoned cart only to have the hunter/gatherer show up just as I'm ready to take his/her turn and indignantly say "Who do you think you are?  I was here... didn't you see my cart?"  I'm always shocked when I manage to resist the temptation to squeeze and mangle anything soft and breakable in their cart.
• Those who put a month's worth of groceries on the check-out conveyor and then go into a trance.  They stand there as their order is being scanned and do nothing... absolutely nothing.  They've lived their whole lives here and still don't get that they need to be bagging their groceries while the stuff is being rung up or it will take twice as long to get the hell out of my way.  Don't they understand that this is a dangerous game they're playing with me?
• Those who do either of the previous and then - once everything is rung up - they leisurely take out their checkbook and casually inquire if checks are accepted without a membership/courtesy card.  Then they will ever-so-slowly begin filling out the check and balancing their account before tearing it out with excruciating slowness and handing it to the cashier.  7 times out of 10 the check is filled out incorrectly and the process has to be repeated (including re-balancing their checking account).  Rest assured that during the entire 15 minutes it will take to summon a manger and get the check written out and approved (and re-approved), I will be teetering on the edge of shooting these people in the knees.
• Those who can walk swiftly through enormous rooms without looking to right or left.  Yet when they reach the door they will stop, turn to the person beside them and begin an animated 15 minute conversation... thus holding back the roomful of people behind them like a cork in a bottle.  The same thoughtless maneuver is executed on stairs as well.  Most people are born with an internal radar that lets them know when they are blocking space.  So why is it that every person I walk behind these days seems to have theirs switched off?  Is no one going to be happy until my head actually explodes!
• Drivers who ride for miles and miles in the blind spot of my car... waiting for me to signal a lane change so they can beep their horn indignantly and try to zoom past me.  Is there something sexy about my car's butt that makes people want to loiter by it at 100kph leering at it's curvaceousness?  I'm starting to feel like a pretty girl at a frat party who suddenly realizes she has become an idiot magnet.  I'm starting to fantasize about not signaling and simultaneously throwing the wheel over and stamping on the brakes.  I'm told the police and insurance companies both take a dim view of the driver of the following car in a rear-end collision.  "Clearly he was tailgating officer..."
• Those who tell me to trust them.  'Smoch Alai ahi' (trust me my brother) is the quintessential Israeli phrase used to communicate to a person that they are about to be burned so badly that they may never recover.  The higher the stakes, the more confidant the Israeli will sound when he (it's always a he) tells you to rely on his inside information... his connection with store owner... his knowledge of driving directions.  The next person who tells me 'smoch alai' had better be wearing an athletic cup because I am sick and tired of being alone when things go south (as they inevitably do).  If the know-it-all is writhing on the ground clutching his crotch and making fish faces, at least I'll know exactly where to find him when his advice doesn't pan out.

I'm sure there are a dozen other peeves I could share today... but writing them down just seems to be making things worse.

I need to go back to bed.

Time well spent?

Sorry to say... I got nothin'!

I usually do my writing between 5:30 and 6:00 AM, but instead of trying to create a coherent post, I ended up talking semi-coherently on the air with a talk show host in the US.

Like many other bloggers, I've done about a dozen phone and email interviews with various members of the media from around the world in the past few weeks.  I have also turned down a few requests for interviews after checking them out and getting the feeling I was likely to be deliberately quoted unfairly, out of context or asked a bunch of 'are you still beating your wife, yes or no?' kind of questions.

But by and large I feel very strongly that people from all walks of life in Israel should be interviewed so the world can see we are as complex and multi-faceted a society as anywhere else (perhaps more so)... and not some monolithic 'thing' that can be summed up in a 15 second news sound-byte.

Anyway, the reason I didn't give anyone a heads-up about this live radio interview is that I didn't really trust myself not to sound like a complete idiot.  This fear is just one of many reasons I haven't embraced pod-casting.  Quite simply, the written format of my journal allows me to edit myself and even delete whole entries that are ill advised or just plain wring-headed.  This self-editing happens much more often than you probably would guess since so much ill-advised, wrong-headed stuff actually gets published here.

Anyway, thanks to those who found out and publicized the interview anyway.  And of course thanks to Terry Dillard, the host or 'The Right Track' program on Wide Awake Radio who made me feel right at home and thankfully kept me from making a complete ass of myself.

This evening marks the start of Tisha B'Av, and I may or may not post something later on.  In any case, 'Tzom Kal' (an easy fast) to those who will be observing this somber day.

It's time

I went to bed last night after reading a post written by the talented and insightful Robert Avrech of Seraphic Secret.

In his post he wrote about the self-imposed IAF moratorium on aerial bombardment as something other than a defacto cease-fire.  He correctly pointed out that nowhere in the Israeli announcement was there even a hint that Israel would halt it's ongoing military campaign against Hezbollah.  They simply announced that - apart form imminent threats - they wouldn't be attacking from the air.

Thus, to anyone clever enough to notice (clever is certainly a word I would use to describe Robert), this opened the possibility that the temporary cessation of aerial bombardment would be an excellent opportunity to insert ground troops into the newly prepared Lebanese battlefield.

As I drifted off to sleep I started thinking about the fact that for most of yesterday the news had been perfectly silent about what our troops were doing up there in the north.  Nearly every media outlet on the planet is up on the Lebanese border with a voracious 24 hour news cycle to feed, and... nothing.   

Absolutely nothing.

No reports of what all these thousands of Israeli soldiers were doing during the lull in hostilities.  No human interest pieces about the idle artillery crews and tank battalions playing football or calling home.  Not one little anecdote about the soldiers... while the international spotlight shifted to Jerusalem and the pas de deux between Olmert and Rice.

Then it hit me.  It's time.

I sat up in bed and practically knocked my laptop off it's stand.  There was no news from the north because the military censors had placed a blackout on the area while the ground war Robert predicted got fully underway.  And whether by accident or design, the choreographed meetings between Olmert and Rice in Jerusalem provided perfect misdirection to divert the world's attention.

The perfect magic trick... "look over here, not over there!"

The moment I woke up this morning I rolled over and checked the news and was not surprised to see the beginnings of the ground war story starting to break.  But instead of talking about the three-pronged ground attack in past or present tense... the news was playing catch-up and reporting the ground incursion as something imminent.

My guess is that the Paratroops, Nahal and Golani Brigades are already well on towards the Litani River (if not already there), and starting to encircle the remaining pockets of Hezbollah resistance.  Personally, after watching how Hezbollah deliberately instigated this war and then waged it entirely against the civilian population of northern Israel, I hope they are hunted down... to the very last man.

Israel has tried withdrawal.  Israel has tried concessions.  Israel has tried negotiating.  At ever turn Israel's efforts to simply exist have been answered with unending violence.  We have gotten so good at absorbing violence that we are like a battered wife who still thinks the black eyes, broken bones and missing teeth are somehow her fault!

Now it is time to return violence for violence. 

Those who would argue this point and insist that there are still many in the Arab/Muslim camp ready and willing - eager, even - to 'talk', please honestly consider the following (not mine) before submitting a comment:

"If the Arabs were to throw their weapons into the Mediterranean, there would immediately be peace and stability in the region. 

If Israel were to throw its weapons into the Mediterranean, the bodies of every Israeli man, woman and child would soon join the Israeli weapons at the bottom of the sea."